Syleeskribbles

Life is a one way trip.

2006-06-25T18:07:00.000+08:00

Listening to Nickelback's album in the background: Photograph. Makes me miss the times when I was in school. Way way back when I was in school, with uniforms, prefects and teachers we loved to hate. I kinda miss it.

I miss the times when I was second guessing which guy to have a crush on next. I miss it when all I had to worry about was the next monthly test and which homework I forgot to complete. I miss the way we girls gossipped and giggled behind the good looking prefect and his much hated girlfriend walking next to him. We listened to corny tunes from boy bands and remade cover versions. We ate unbalanced meals and never worried about the level of carbohydrates we're taking in. We pick out the greens from our meals. Then, thought twice about brushing with toothpaste when we found out there was magnesium inside it. We hung on the phone, day and night and day, never noticing the phone bills our parents had to pay. We plastered our bedroom walls with posters of celebrities that invade our dreams in the night. We fought with our siblings, telling them we hate them down to their chilly bones. We watched movies together, football matches, comedies, horror films and avoided anything done in black and white. We laughed in victories, cried in failures: sometimes alone, sometimes in a group, sometimes with our parents, at times with our girl friends. We were saps in cinemas but lionesses in shopping trips. We own 5 pairs of shoes and fifteen more hidden in the closets. We admire the girls in magazines but declared the same bunch: idiots, when they went bulimic to look like how they did. We had first kisses and dumb wishes. We had broken friendships and farewells. We went out into the world with new hopes and dreams.

Then we grew up. And now we write in blogs instead.

God, I missed those days.

Taylor won

2006-05-26T18:41:00.000+08:00

For once, America got it right. Naahh, I was just kidding. I think Kelly C is great, Clay is scary ( I know rueben won but we ain't hearing him now), Fantasia disappeared, Carrie is boring but pretty and well, now we got Mr. Hicks, Mr. Soul Patrol himself. Frankly, I thought that it was going to be a showdown between Katharine and Chris because.. well because they're both "pretty".

By the way, my favourite is elliot. He really is an inspiration to us all.

I take offence that they called Taylor the underdog before the finals because no way is Katharine better than he is. The same level, MAYBE, but no way is Katharine better than him. For one thing, she grins even through a sad ballad. A singer is supposed to feel the song and make everyone else feel the same emotion but she... she.. she ruined it. And what about all that negative talk about women having to work harder than men do to get to the same level crap? She's in the finals, isn't she? It's like she gave up and KNEW she was going to lose even before performing. That is not good. That is not an idol's attitude and that does not deserve winning any votes.

Seriously though, I'm writing here because I overheard a colleague talk about how old Taylor looked when she accidentally flipped the channel into American Idol's finale last night. She never watched it before because ... she's more interested in the Malaysian Idol version. Well, she was asking another colleague why Taylor looked so old.. and I thought, as if that matters? The guy can sing. And singing is the thing we are looking for in the American Idol, right? Apparently yes, but to actually survive in the recording artiste's world, you need good looks and for once, I have to agree with that colleague ( I never do in anything else) on the subject of an idol looking good.

Still, I really hope for the best for Taylor. To say he deserved it is a little shallow because in terms of performances, he is up there but still not at the peak. But America has spoken and Taylor has been crowned the fifth (and oldest, they HAD to put that in) American Idol.

Congratulations dude. Loved you in Jailhouse rock. Never stop dancing.

Borderline

2006-05-16T18:09:00.000+08:00

The word borderline can be used to describe levels or an area (space) but for me, it can also be used to describe something that is filled (or pushed) to the brim, which is running a risk of overflowing. Patience, I'm talking about patience here. I know, when it comes to work, if you come across anything that you do not find to your liking, you should just walk it off or *smoke it off...

*God forbid I resort to taking nicotine to calm my nerves.

... in short, you should just ignore it and forget about it once you leave the office. I am trying to learn that. Still trying. Yet, sometimes I wish I could just sit down with the person who is doing all the pushing to the brim thing and then take off my shoes and ask them to step into them. I step into other people's shoes all the time, so I can keep myself from going over the limit and prevent myself from becoming too hard to work with. I wish most people could do the same, but hey, wishful thinking, do it often enough and you start to hurt.

Ok, back to borderline. Do you know tat feeling where you feel like something is stuck in that imaginary area between the neck and the chest? stopping the air from coming into the lungs and stopping the blood from going to your brain, that kind of feeling? You don't? Well, good for you then. Cause i'm feelin' it all the time nowadays, and I don't wish anyone else to feel the same. Perhaps it is a prerequisite to future days of high blood pressure and heart attacks. Everyone knows it runs in my family. Everyone who knows anyways. Three out of four of my grandparents succumbed to it. The last one is smoking non-stop for her life. Yes, ironic. it is.

Worst thing of all is that the brim-pusher is making unreasonable demands that I cannot deliver, not because I don't want to, but because I can't. Company policy, yada yada yada. Bottom line is.. I can't deliver what she wants. Anyway, that isn't the problem. The problem is.. how do I tell her... that she can't get what she wants... without sounding like... I'm actually happy about it.. :) Ooo ooo, the pain coming back. Yup, never a good sign.. never good.

A change for the better

2006-05-02T18:11:00.000+08:00

There was a meeting at work today. All of us in the same floor attended the meeting. The chairperson (our manager) told us that word got out about how lenient she was with us. She will start issuing warning notes and if circumstances require her to do so, issue a warning letter over any of our misconducts. To me, I think this should have happened sooner as the discipline at our floor is just.. non-existant.

There are people who are flexible with everything and there are others who couldn't care less of any rules or regulation. There are also people who think that rules allow them to function better and minimizes the bad effects of a [team] member's wrongdoing. I belong to the third if I am a subordinate, the second if I do not like how management is managing the workforce and the first if everyone understands where they stand and where their place is. Sadly, I am currently none of the above as no one is keeping tab nor were there any need to be any of those.. until today.

Someone must have done something as the new regulations the chairperson presented in the meeting actually made sense of a company that is bound to improve in the future. Open suggestions by the workers will be accepted, positive attitudes to the work will be acknowledged and work quality will be a basis to what we are there to do. Hopefully, I can look forward to work everyday, challenging myself to the fullest and obtaining benefits for both the company and for me.

Ah.. who am I kidding?

Well, it sounded good when it lasted, but if no one cooperates, it will equal to nothing. At least my manager has someone's support: me :(

company loyalty?

2006-04-27T19:07:00.000+08:00

Tis the season to be.. looking for other jobs. Nah, I'm not refering to myself. You know how it is that some people are so loyal to their present company that they can't figure out the real reason for their loyalty in the first place. I mean if the company cannot provide you with what you want in life, there is no reason to stay right? What they can provide is a topic worthy of discussion as it is never limited to monetary resources alone. For instance, some people like the challenge or they just simply like doing what they do at work. Others like the fact that things are slow in the workplace, they can chitchat with their fellow colleagues and live off the water, electricity and other facilities at the office. Whilst even others have relationships with the citizens of the company and thus find it hard to just drop everything and leave for greener pastures. Me, I dono which group I belong to and I am sure that most of you who read this do not necessarily belong to ANY of the groups either. So, why is it that we stay with the company we are working in? Are we afraid of change? Are we too comfortable in the same environment that we have been in in the past 3 to 5 years that we have actually given up the thought of ever leaving the company?

I asked myself that question and the only answer I have is that I have not make my mark here yet. I am not a figure that many people will remember and [by the way I have to take back what I said about overtime being a bad thing and all that, otherwise I'd be reluctant to get anything done for nothing; a low pay is better than no pay. Talk about eating humble pie.] by jove I'd like to be someone who in the future, if my fellow colleagues hear of, they will say "Ah? she's with that other company now? good for them. she's a bargain." Then again, it is not easy to reach that level is it? At my rate, it'll take years to even make a mark on any surface unless I steal from the company or hit a fellow colleague or something. Hey, that is making a name too. I didn't say it has to be a good name.

Living on credit

2006-04-09T12:34:00.000+08:00

It annoyed me that the father of two in front of me in the cashier counter is delaying my trip home from the hypermarket by paying for his groceries with a credit card. Who says credit cards are a convenience? They take forever to process, you sign your names about a hundred times to get any payment to go through and the sentence that can immediately strike fear in your heart is "Your card has been rejected, sir." By the way, why in the world would you pay $50 worth of groceries with a credit card instead of cash? If you do not have the cash in your pocket, should you even be shopping for that much material?

I had been offered credit cards several times by strangers through the phone. If it is a survey, I'd say I don't have a credit card. If it is an offer, I'd tell them I have a platinum card already. It is a blatant lie but it is better manners than slamming the phone down on them. If you think I have an unexplained hatred for credit cards, you are partially right. I don't hate credit cards, I 'dislike' the way credit cards are used, in this matter, how they are misused.

Credit cards are not mobile and instant teller machines that spew out cash at your slightest whim. They are, however, instant loans that guarantee high interest returns.. for the credit card company, not for you. In other words, if you don't have that much cash, don't charge it. You will regret later on. Why? Because you will be paying for more than what is listed on the price tag. Think you got a discounted branded handbag? If you charged it to your card, think again. You might as well just save your breath and not ask the salesgirl for a higher discount. You'd be paying more for it to the bank.

Many young adults who are barely in the working scene for a decade succumb to the powers of the credit card. At the end of the race, they wave their white undies and throw in the towel, while the imaginary dog-tag of 'bankruptcy' hand around their already choking necks whilst marring their credit history for the next few years or so. Heck, it beats owing loan sharks. To avoid all this, if you owe it, pay it back as soon as possible and if you can't afford it in cash, don't think you can afford it in plastic.

Signing out,
I use paper.

BB Mountain

2006-03-29T21:31:00.000+08:00

I cannot bring myself to watch brokeback mountain. I just can't.

Cowboys have always been, at least to me, a symbol of masculinity. Where all else in the world, guys may flail and develop weird tendencies (that's the lightest possible way I can put it, leave it be), I've always thought that I could rely on the men on horses to be Prince Charming. Heck, even fairy tales have princes dressed in white and riding white horses as they come to the aid of the maiden in distress. But not anymore.

I pity real cowboys out there. All the stares and sniggers. Daily. Hourly. I wonder if rodeo will ever be called a sport again. I wonder if kids will be allowed to dress up as cowboys again.

Well, I don't know about anybody else but I couldn't care less if the movie got the Oscar or not since.. since.. well, usually the Oscar is awarded to movies that no one else apart from the voting commitee understands. But this movie isn't so hard to understand right? Boys can like boys nowadays in the 21st century. Actually, they've been doing it in the Renaissance or whatever the period that was when women were never anorexic and being plump was considered beautiful. However, only people in the 21st century make a movie out of it.

Now, I have no respect for people who reject something even before they try it. Hmm.. that didn't come out right. What I mean to say was that if you haven't tried durian, you wouldn't know if it was tasty or not. At least give it a go and then decide on whether you would prefer your fingers to be free from the foul-smelling beastfruit that others adore like crazy ( me one of them guilty fellas) or not. But here, here I draw the line. I have nothing against people of the same sex loving each other. You love who you want to love. I just ask that you leave all the loving at home, behind closed doors. Not in front of millions of people all over the world. And that goes for those who love people of the opposite sex as well. Everything *swings hands like mad* behind closed doors.

I liked him in First Knight and that is the last image I will keep in my head of Ledger.

What I wouldn't give...

2006-03-29T20:17:00.000+08:00

Ya, it's been awhile since I've immersed myself in anything apart from work. Yup, when I enter forms that are labelled "biodata", next to Occupation, I should write 'workaholic'. Wouldn't that be nice.. sike! Compared to last week where everything was hectic as hell and all I could think about is what time I can go and sleep on my comfy bed, this week was a total let-down. It's much more fun where there is something to do, a goal to achieve, a deadline to make, a lingering desire to find that gap of time for where you can be yourself and rest... I find more meaning in life in that sort of condition. This week, I wasted 15 minutes to decide on whether I should have a cup of cocoa or a cup of coffee, and nobody needed me to do nothing in the 15 minutes after that. Sad.. just so sad.

Ah, just have to wait for the next project to come in. but when.. when?

Many Many Times

2006-03-03T18:18:00.000+08:00

Many Many Times I told them people to not send forwarded mail to me and many many times they have ignored me.

I suddenly received a call for an interview in a company I have never even heard of let alone applied to. The caller told me to attend an interview the next day or the day after and whilst it sounded like a good opportunity ( since they are so desperate to call other people up) I had to ask for a re-schedule since I couldn't apply leave at the time. People have deadlines, okay. I hung up with a sense of bewilderment. Firstly, I just made an appointment with a total stranger who works for a company I know nothing about and two, my spectacles fell apart. Yup, I don't have good glasses. They always come apart. Always.

One of my colleagues took me to a shop to settle the glasses and I came back after lunch trying to figure out what the heck was that phone call all about and how they got my details ( they did acknowledge me by name ). That's when I snapped. Damn forwarded e-mails. Thousands and thousands of times had I told those people I call friends, to NOT forward e-mails to me because then, other people can receive those same e-mails along with my e-mail address and the addresses of other innocent passers-by. This is why we have spam people. Because you all can't stand to keep a 'good' thing to yourself, because you need to share and because you need to tell other people how good they are as your friend, incidentally one who does not call, nor write, nor send any other forwarded e-mails back to you. Sike.

We have a new age of technology but a lot of people are not using their brains when they're technologizing!

Photosensitive

2006-02-10T21:23:00.000+08:00

Men are sensitive towards light. I am not sure if the word photosensitive applies to this statement but that is about the only associated word that has popped up in my head within the last 3 seconds. The main point I'm trying to deliver here, however, is that men are not so much the better driver compared to women. I don't do trumpet-blowing nor am I a heck of a driver but I do enjoy being behind the wheel. The thing that I don't enjoy is the other drivers out there, regardless of their sex or their preference of which sex.

Some of them are daredevils and some of them are just plain ignorant and even worse, stupid. Don't believe me? Then, riddle me this. Do you stop at a red light and go at a green light? Most of you would say yes. Do you slow down at a yellow light or go very very fast? Okay, 50-50 on that one. Now, here comes the easy question. At the moment the light turns green, do you put the medal to the pedal or do you look both ways before you step on the gas? Ah hah... got you thinking, didn't I? No? Then, you must be slower than I thought. Anyways...

Most of you won't even bother to look both ways if the light was already green. Why? Because you all think that other people actually follow the traffic lights. Now, let's play a game of IFs. IF your side of the road has a green light and you are the first car of the row, and IF the road of the last green light ( which has just turned red ) has a speeding devil which is bent on beating the red light, and IF you hadn't the slightest idea that some drivers DO try to beat red lights and you just step on the gas without giving a care in the world... ... what colour is a rainbow?

No, wait. That can't be right. Oh yeah. *trail of thoughts...*

Diagnosis: You wake up at the hospital, recover within six months but swore to never drive or look at another green traffic light again. That is what happens when you leave it to a traffic light to determine whether you live or die.

Think about it. Just think about it.

Second scenario. What happens when a set of traffic lights goes haywire? The cars go haywire too.. at least until the guy in black and white comes along with a nice whistle and matching gloves.

Third scenario, and this one is a hands-on experience. This time, I am not at the wheel. A friend of mine is. It's a guy. He was driving, with me on the passenger seat. We come up to this long stretch of road. Long, straight and calming to the soul. I could still keep awake. I can't say the same about the driver because as we were coming up to a pickup truck, and coming up real fast, I noticed that my driver wasn't slowing down. The car got bigger and bigger, at least from my side of the perspective and I can already see the license plate and how many people were in the truck. I held to the side of our car and actually braced myself for impact and when I felt that it was either "shout now" or end up dead, I screamed at him..

"BRAKE! BRAKE!"

We came out in one piece. Our car screeched to less than 3 inches from the truck in front of us which was at a stand-still trying to turn into a road on the right.

I looked at my driver and asked him why didn't he stop?

He said, "His damn brake lights were not working." *sounds of cricket chirping in the background*

Down with the flu

2006-02-08T16:12:00.000+08:00

I'm down with the flu and am not going to amount to anything at work except spread the germs around. Hence, the MC. I am never one for taking time off work because of a small flu but this one is just sooo eeky, I best keep it to myself. The mucous is green, sticky and mixed with blood. Blood coming from the broken vessels from my very agitated inner nose cavities. Apart from that, the cough, the sore throat and the really heavy head, I'm just fine and dandy.

The 12-hour sleep I got did wonders for me. I can now stand up straight already and walk without any help from the bordering walls. The head is a little heavy but I can now feel the usual boredom from staying at home without a daily target to fulfilled. Thus, it is back to the writing pad for me.

Upon checking my mailbox, I received an e-mail from a teacher, my Creative Writing teacher. He has a book that is being re-issued. I look forward to reading that, of course, and promised to send my sister over to pick it up ( an autographed one would be nice ) from campus where he works. He sent an introduction which I read through and I returned him with a comment he once gave me on my writing -It's a little too long-. But truthfully it did make me want to read the book, which is the purpose in the first place. To see him have the success of another reprint make me want to take up writing again. I didn't stop. I just couldn't find inspiration to write. Then, I found hope in Silverfish Writing.

Silverfish is a local company that deals with new writing. Usually, they will publish writings from all over the world that share a common theme. The writers don't get paid but they will be given the copyright of their story. In short, it is like stepping stone in making a name for yourself as a writer. Silverfish will help put you onto the stage, but once you're there you better start performing to get the audience to want you to come back.

I intend to write. I just don't know what to write about. My working environment has a limited scope of human activities, says my pessimistic side but then the side that cropped up during the start of my Creative Writing courses, Ms Observant suddenly awoken inside of me. There is plenty to write about at work. How about the life of an editor? Or the beauty and horrors of working with people and books? - which is easier? Or politics and women? - my company is a female-dominated working environment.. and even a comedy on Life in the Pantry. There is an endless list of possibilities. I just hope I can decide on one to write in.

Some people never learn

2006-01-21T23:50:00.000+08:00

I just read a rather interesting news piece where four local students are suing the government over its policy to teach science and mathematics in the English language. Er... right. Sue the government. Smart eh?

Secondly, the kids ( a year 4, I presume 10 year old, 2 Form 3 ( 15 year olds ) and a Form 4 student ( a 16 year old ) ) filed the suit through their fathers. They indicated one of the reasons they gave for the lawsuit as being 'deprived' from learning the two subjects in the national language, which is NOT english. My jaw dropped when I saw the word deprived. How can someone deprive you of something when you can still freely do it? I mean, these kids can still learn the subjects on their own, or from outside help through tuition, or through books in the past 10 years or so, which are still in the national language. They are not 'deprived' of it. They are only not spoon-fed in the language they have grown accustomed to.

The thing about learning is that people tend to think that it is natural for them pick up things very easily, and to these people, the only way to do that is to be taught that piece of knowledge in the language they are most comfortable with. Whoa, are they in for a surprise when they get to university. Frankly, I'd be thankful of the change to be done in MY time when I was still in the education system. Then, I won't have to be freaking translating every freaking page of every freaking lecture note when I was in freaking university... Freaks.

Rather than oppose a change, why can't they be flexible and adapt to the change? They are kids, they have the capability to do so because they haven't grown into a rigid mindset which cannot be changed.. like that of adults. Adults like teacher or parents. Ah ah ah , don't go there. Don't put words into my blog. It's just a thought. Let's keep it that way.

I' m going to write a story on -Stories on the Road- one day

2006-01-18T21:01:00.000+08:00

It takes me only twenty minutes to get from my workplace and home. Actually, twenty-five minutes on the way back. I don't know where that discrepancy exists but no matter, it is still a better stuck-in-traffic record than what most other city-folks have.

I can't, for the life of me, believe the things I see on my way to work as well as the way back home. In three words: motorcycle, squirrel and wedding dress.

I'll start with the wedding dress. I was reaching the toll and was trying to slow down when I saw this BMW racing up the back of my *tut*. ( I meant to type car but *tut* sounds more intriguing. Anyways.. ) It was driven by a woman and not to mean any offence to any lady drivers out there ( I myself being one ) but I really fear getting into car trouble with another woman driver therefore I changed lanes and let her pass. We went through the toll gates together and she got through faster because she had those tag thingies. If you're rich, flaunt it, I guess.

Then, I saw it.

We had to merge back into two lanes from the multiple lanes of the toll plaza and I was right behind her when I saw the lacy bottom of what I think is a wedding dress clamped at the door near the driver's side. I was speechless. It was hard to miss, It was like the can-can type of dress lace and I could barely discern it to be of the satin wedding dress type of material. The next thing I did, didn't really help much. I tried to put the pedal to the metal but still couldnt reach her in time to tell her about her clamped dress before she turned into her exit and sped down the road.

Squirrels were another thing. Enough is enough, I said when the suicide swallows keep flying up high and then swooping down quickly, barely missing the front of my windshield and scaring the poop out of me. I can't believe I braked to prevent myself from hitting one just this morning. I, for one, do not like wiping off swallow remnants off my windshield but I think they know better than to hit a car windshield head-on. I repeat. I think. ..but that is not the point. My point is I saw a squirrel hop, hop, hop past the busy roads, past 3 lanes of on-coming traffic before hopping back into the safety of the green grass by the side of the highway on my way to work the other day. The feeling of seeing something real, something natural like a wild squirrel in an urban city is purely .. purely.. I don't know. It's something alright. I just don't know what to call it.

eh. It's cool.

Last but not the most less ( I like making grammar mistakes, they hardly seem wrong to me ), just today I saw a guy in a motorcycle riding real close to a huge puddle of water right after a rainstorm and right in front of my car. In a split second, I told myself, he is totally going to wet himself from his motorbike splashing through the puddle of water. Alas, there are still brilliant people in this world. The guy just pulled his legs up and did a little yoga thingie, went through the puddle of water like it was nobody's business. His legs were up there for a whole 5 seconds, until he cleared the puddle and the splashes, and the cars in front. Now, that, I dare say, was cool.

I read with disgust

2006-01-17T18:32:00.000+08:00

I read the news of the past few days with disgust. Rape, murder and bombings. I mean, where the hell are we in the evolution of human beings? Nothing makes sense anymore. How can an innocent girl of 25 who has done no harm to anyone, be taken away during a usual jogging routine, raped and murdered just like that? Wait, wait. Disgust is not the word. Rage is more like it. I can't even put the emotion into words, and that does not happen much with me.

Worse still, my ex-room mate knows the poor girl.

I received a text message last night from my ex-roommate whom I had not contacted for quite awhile except through short messages of 'how do you do' and the likes. She told me her ex-schoolmate was raped and murdered on Saturday the 14th of January. She told me to take care of myself and to be careful wherever I am. She told me all that, and I shivered myself to sleep.

I didn't really get much sleep last night. I did, however, log on to check the news report about the incident. Words could not express how I feel and I am sure my friend would have felt worse, a lot of times over. She is an emotional type, the kind of person who would cry upon seeing survivors of the tsunami that ravaged Sri Lanka two christmases ago. How do you think will she take losing a friend so suddenly and so brutally?

All I can say is I hope when they get that bastard, they beat the crap out of him. I hope that they put him in jail where security is maximum. Not to save him from the people outside, but to keep him from getting away from the other people inside the Max-secu prison. I don't hope that he will repent. No one can repent from something so horrible, no one should be allowed to repent for something like this. I hope he will be able to feel the terror that he put upon the girl right before he took her life away.

Yet, what can I do except hope?

Why am I so uptight about this? Why should I put so much emotion into an incident that is so remotely related to me? Just this afternoon, I received another text message, this time from my sister who told me that a shopping mall in the town I went to university in, and where she is attending university now, was bombed two nights ago. It was a pipe bomb, containing nails and so amateurishly-done, it boggles the minds of people who tries to figure out why such a devastating weapon is made and why was it used. My sister was in the vicinity when it occurred. She wasn't hurt. She did, however, see the forensics team working in the scene of the crime. She could so easily be involved in the incident. She could have easily been the one casualty that was lost due to the bomb blast. SHe could have easily been dead now, like the girl who went jogging on a Saturday.

All I can say is I am glad she is not hurt from the incident and I am mad because someone out there is so stupid to as to make a pipe bomb and detonate it in public where other people are going about their daily lives. What the hell is wrong with these people? Can anyone tell me what the hell goes on in the minds of these lunatics? These barbarians? These animals? These imbeciles?

Overtime and Chicken Poop

2006-01-12T20:51:00.000+08:00

To me, Overtime or also known as OT, is an enigma. Bosses don't want to pay for it but they have to because they want the workers to do overtime even though the workers don't like to. Hm.. doesn't sound like an enigma now ,does it? I seem to have figured out this vicious cycle in a single sentence. The thing I don't get is why does it prevail in modern society. If the workload does not fit the salary nor the working hours then maybe someone needs to get their accountants fired.. because I don't see the need of labouring for 8 hours a day over work that cannot be finished in time and then staying on after work to do work that still cannot be finished in Overtime. The only time that work can be finished is when the deadline is over. What is the point of Overtime then? Just leave everything until the deadline and do 48 hours of work without sleep. It seems like a better way to justify your value than to do overtime.. sic.

One other thing I do not get. If you pay more for Overtime I guess more people will be willing to do it. However, since there are more smart people out there than righteous ones, this rule will definitely get out of control. At the same time, I don't agree to getting pay that is not of the same hourly rate as what you are earning from the salary. "Why?" I hear you ask. I say this because the advantage will be with the newbies, the freshies, the chikadees. Those who stayed longer, aka the seniors will still have to stick to the same Overtime rate which will definitely be a lot lower than the hourly wage they are earning now. Plus, they have got nothing new to learn so all they do is slug through the whole year and hope for the best with the bonus. That does not sound like motivation. Heck, it isn't even chicken poop. How can you ask people to stay longer with the company, practise their loyalty to the limit and keep secrets close to the source?

I don't know what goes on in the minds of big bosses out there. They know next to nothing about taking care of their workers because they find it not important enough to be worth their time. Yet I believe that a boss that takes care of his workers will find that he will earn more than a boss who treat his workers like chicken poop.

Why did this thing pop up? I was still at the office at 6.30pm and my work time ends at 5.30pm. In order to get my first hour OT wage, I have to stay until 7pm. In order to get the second hour wage I have to stick around until 7.30pm. The typical commoner I know will stay until 7.30pm to 'reap' the benefit off this Overtime rule they have. Get off at 6.30 you earn nothing, get off at 7.00 you get one hour wage, get off at 7.30 you get two hour wage. Thus, 7.30 seems like the best time ain't it? Yet it is this same mode of thinking which makes people believe that they are above the law, they are the winners and they are the one who is not losing out but gaining by staying until 7.30. I think it is chicken poop. No matter how you use your time, to them 7.30 just means two hourly wage, to you, it may mean the perfect time to beat the traffic, the extra half hour to rest yourself or the extra 20 minutes to get dinner ready for your family.

Wondering whether to stay until 6.30 or 7.30? Just stay until your work is done and get the hell out of there. By the way, they are paying you less ( hourly ) than your normal wage and Overtime is not the best way to earn extra. You're just losing out on your value. And I don't do devaluation.

Selling Silver Linings

2006-01-04T21:52:00.000+08:00

I can't remember the whole phrase but silver linings have always been, to me, the last small pearl-sized bit of luck in the midst of the Pacific Ocean. Today's silver lining is brought to you by: Potholes. Yes, potholes. Those pesky not-too-small yet not-so-big holes on the tar roads that seem to pop out of nowhere once every three days and then stay for years before someone else comes over and seals them up. If you thought those are potholes, you're spot on. Which reminds me, there is this particular spot of road in the route I take daily to work which is riddled with holes everywhere. Honestly, it looked like the last of a dozen landmines blew up and triggered well-planted grenades all over the surface. The moon is ashamed by the enormity of the craters that were formed there. Of course, I am exaggerating. The moon can't be ashamed. It has no feelings, but if it had then yes, I stand by my utterance that it will still be ashamed by that stretch of road.

Every morning in the last month of last year, I'd dread before I reach that stretch of road, my muscles will pull when I am on that stretch of road and I grumble and mumble and will stroke the dashboard of my car, after I pass that stretch of road. However, just a couple of days ago, about 100 meters before I reach that part of the route, a nasty little machine drove up close and swerve right in front of my car, missing my headlights by inches. Then, it sped off, leaving me with a clenched jaw from the darn sound of the vrooming machine and with dust covering the windshield of my car. It is not a way to start my mornings but hey, whaddaya know even devils on the roads have to slow down to avoid potholes. Ha! Imagine that. This guy who thinks that he can live twice in a lifetime and who does not care if other people get banged up by his lousy excuse for a machine, actually slowed down for potholes.

The only thing funnier about it is that his car design was so low that his machine was taking a worse beating compared to my own car, which by the way is, by now, used to the torturous horse-ride it has to suffer through each morning. And thus ends the short reign of the arrogant driver and his lousy son-of-a-gun car. Ooh, by the way, I do to others what they do to me and left dust on his windshield as a goodbye greeting. You should have seen the look on his face!

Potholes. Speed bumps. Tolls.

Life is full of surprises.

The world is officially 2006 years old.

2006-01-01T14:09:00.000+08:00

Unofficially, the world is a lot more older than a mere 20 centuries. I, on the other hand, am still barely scraping past a quarter of a century. It's a good thing. However, I do not act my age. Last night was the last night of a rather rumbling year.. for me, and for the world as well. Never before have I seen a more disaster-ridden year, what with the tsunami, earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, bombings and royal upheavals. Of course, it was also the same year I bid goodbye to academics, moved again, went through interviews in the city and other places on the outskirts, said goodbye to old friends, say hello to older friends and literally had to grow up. Oh, and I graduated too.

A couple of generations before, I should have been married, with two kids, by now. Probably pregnant with the third one too. At least, that was my mother's situation at my current age. In reality, I'm just switching occupations from academician to job-holder, that is I stopped studying and started earning an income. I have not sent money home yet. There was not much of a need since my parents told me to start saving up for my wedding, which may occur within the next 2 to 3 years. Nevertheless, things never go as planned. It may be sooner (?)

2006 is not much of a change for me. Frankly, no one can tell if it would be a year of change or not. Things may still chug along at a slow steam train pace, with the usual spendings and salaries, heart breaks and events of elation, overtime and holidays.. or maybe another disaster may decide to pop up again and shake our world into a sense of gloom.

The thing that really changed for me is the need for resolution, in a sense that I do not need to make resolutions anymore. For one thing, no one bothers to live up to their resolutions. It's just lip service. Think of it this way, if you do everything well enough, there is no need to resolve to improve. If you smoke or drink or gamble, making new year resolutions won't help you quit. Then, why bother making resolutions? Just do it!

I am starting the new year off by taking my boyfriend's two sisters and their husbands out for a dinner treat. They had been great to me since I got here, and they are like family, a family away from home. The least I could do is have them take a nice seafood dinner, something of a luxury where we live.

To everyone else: Have a great 2006. If it isn't, make it great.

The gift

2005-12-27T07:29:00.000+08:00

I got three weeks off from writing in here, but it wasn't planned, no doubt. Christmas came and gone but nothing much has changed in my life. I do, however, feel much reluctance in getting up so early in the morning to drive 20 minutes to work where I will spend 8 hours a day, toiling through words and paper and pictures before coming back home. Tis is the mundane life that most people go through, with changes only to the numbers and nothing else.

But it will be different if you have a goal to achieve, if you have something to look forward to or something to keep in dark before you will let it jump out in surprise for everyone to see. Mine is the third one: a Christmas/New year gift. Yes, it is the decade-old gift exchange in the work place kind of gift. I just finish wrapping it last night. Never knew how difficult it is to write something without a box. Next time, I'm sticking to a box.

The gift looks weird since I've pieced together two different pieces of wrapping paper. I've also used an excess amount of tape and don't get me started on the craftsmanship. Yet, it is there. Complete. Just sitting there quietly next to the sofa, waiting for someone to open it up. Perhaps even wondering why no one has opened her since it is already 2 days after Christmas. A few days more my precious.. a few days more and I will be showing you off in the work place. Some may scream about the size, others may grumble about the insides, but for now, you're simply a pretty little package of Christmas cheer all wrapped up, on the day after Christmas.

My letter to skribbles

2005-12-05T22:16:00.000+08:00

Dear syleeskribbles blogspot,

I'm sorry for not writing much these few days. Yes, I am fine. No, it's not due to the workload. There is just not much to write about. Take work, for instance. Everyday for 8 hours straight (minus the lunch break) I'd be proofreading, trying to my grammar skills, criticising writing styles and marking punctuations. Later on, it went as far as checking facts written by the writer, confirming current events/issues, picking out the right term and etc. In the end I came to a conclusion. I can write better than the writer itself. Problem is, I'm the editor not the writer. Sigh.

After proofreading the same texts (of a close to a hundred A4 paper articles) twice, I told myself, darn, I got nothing to do at work tomorrow. This is going to be a boring week for me. And so I made my way to the company's resource room to take a book to read for the last half hour before getting off work and wadayaknow.. I found a paragraph that looked familiar. I skipped it and went through a few other pages and lo behold, ANOTHER paragraph that looked familiar. After awhile more and more texts, phrases and sentences came to light until I finally had to say it.. the writer plagiarised most of the work done.

Great. Now I got PLENTY to do. My moral standings would not let it go by and I can't let the company support a writer that writes things that are not of his/her own work. Great, just freakin' great.

Well, seems like I had something to write about then. My mistake oh blogspot of mine. Until the next skribble, I bid you all a good day. Signing off.

First day on the job.

2005-12-01T22:10:00.000+08:00

Title says it all. Everyone who has gone through the first day on their new job would know that there is nothing to do since no one knows what type of work to assign you. I had to ask for work two, three times from two different people. When I finally got work to do it was one hour to closing time. I stayed for another half an hour just to finish editing the section and left. But at least I know I got plenty to work on tomorrow.

I'm lucky to have a capable Manager who is willing to part with her advice and experience to help me get into this editorial line. I will give her and the company my best since they put so much trust in me to hold a position like this. I am far from bragging here, I'm stressed out! But if it is perfection they look for, then they got the right person for it! Miss Perfectionist, OCD. I seriously think I got some compulsive need to rid the world of mistakes in English. lol...

I can't help but feel...

2005-11-29T08:12:00.000+08:00

Ya, I feel great about myself. Not because I got the job, but how I got it. I didn't rely on contacts nor nepotism. I didn't succumb to getting an irrelevent job which I have no passion about just to shut those aunties up about me getting a job, nor did I let it get into my head.. too much.

Graduates quickly turn into the unemployed the moment they finished their final exams. Rarely does one find a student already confirmed with a position in the company and ready to get on the road the moment they've moved out the university hostel. There are. It's just a rare occurence. In the usual case, normally there will be pesky aunts and uncles who seem to love pulling the strings around and help you "secure a job without an interview". I was violently against the idea. My mother told me to lighten up. Thank goodness that was as far as she pushed it, and as far as I let myself listen to her.

There must be a lot of people out there who did everything with their own bare hands at first, and still they can come out at the end of the 40-year mini-epic and say I built this empire or I engineered this company. Those who took the shorter way in, rarely have the reason to say that cause they're the second or third generation. They're just taking over for awhile, until the next generation comes along.

Me? I'm just like a sponge, ready to absorb all the knowledge I can lay my fingers on. But more importantly, I felt that all this have been planned. Couldn't have gone smoother. I grew up with books, therefore I shall grow old with books. Ah yes, I got a job as an editor for a reference book publishing company. I will give it my all. I will toil in the soil till my blood boils.

..grow old with books.. That sounded much better inside my head.

I did it!

2005-11-28T17:02:00.000+08:00

I finally got a job that I like. It was like ecstasy when I picked up the call and the lady said "report for duty on 1st of December". They even gave me the salary I asked for ( which isn't too high in the first place ), but the best thing about this is that I get to start writing.. actually editing in English, but the writing will come sooner or later. This is great. This is brilliant. This is fun!

And it gets better since I am officially out of my unemployment phase and starting to earn my own cash.. and I'm working nearby to one of my bestest gal friends since secondary school. The fact that I didn't have much competition going against me despite me not having the qualifications they required, helped a little. I dare say they were hard-pressed for an additional english editor to help with the workload. I will put my back to it, go full force.. and then try to snuggle into HR to let me off for a day for my cousin's wedding without it ruining my probation period. I get to finally fulfil personal objective of contribution to the nation's education system, whichever small way I can.

This is great. You can tell, I'm ecstatic. Breathe, girl. Breathe.

Guardian Angel's Hiatus over.

2005-11-22T22:35:00.000+08:00

Apart from the bloody brilliant Harry Potter Goblet of Fire movie, my last week was so evident of a guardian angel going on a week long leave. But good to know that she's back ( I assume it's a she cause I like my angels to be pretty ). Then suddenly, I got a new writing project, a call for an interview, met up with a good friend.. and felt better about myself. Mondays were never this much fun. hee hee.

I liked harry potter4 which was in the wise words of Ron - bloody brilliant! - . I admit that a lot of the storyline was omitted but the movie came out with more action and appeared less cluttered, as were the previous three movies. Perhaps that is why it did so well in the international box office, coming in at fourth place of highest earning opening week: USD 101.4 million! Daniel Radcliffe is soo eligible as the next biggest bachelor around.

I can't remember much of the storyline but I'm pretty sure that someone was supposed to die in this fourth movie. And if he didn't, it would totally mess up the fifth story. But anyhoo, I think Mr. Newell will figure something around that, or he can just leave it to the next director to do so. Three years ago, when I first read the Goblet of Fire I was pretty sure it would be the best movie amongst the 7 books. This prediction is yet to be fulfilled since the seventh book has not been published yet and I so freakin' hope that I am freakin' wrong and that it would be a freakin' great finale. The most action we HP readers have seen from JKR was in GoF therefore the prediction that the movie will do well in the box office if the CGI was good and the screenplay was well adapted to make it an action-packed movie.

So here is the next prediction. The next HP movie would be a hit with 15 year olds. Not because HP will be 15 in The order of the phoenix but most of the action in the fifth book centered around the word - teen age rebellion. Mark my words, parents will fear bringing their teenagers to the cinema for HP5 because of the rebellious state they will leave the cinema in. The story line became a little meandering, centering more in the school and the obstacles one faces whilst growing up. I'd skip the 5th movie and go straight to the 7th. Haven't read the Half Blood Prince but I heard it was full of 'rubbish' ( a ten year old boy's words, not mine! ). I will still read the book, since I am a FAN of JKR. Not her no.1 fan cause I am place like # 12, 564 now but I'm getting there. Getting there is half the fun.

Knock 3 times

2005-11-18T14:49:00.000+08:00

There is constant knocking that comes from the apartment upstairs. My imagination runs wild whenever I encounter these knocking episodes.

The sound is dulled by the cement floor/ceiling that separates us. It is more of a tum-tum-tum instead of of a rap-rap-rap or a tap-tap-tap. Knocks never sound like knock knock knock so that is out. Yup, definitely a tum-tum-tum.

So what is this tum-tum-tum for?

Is he hammering a door that has been broken for the past 5 months? Or is he hammering something down to the floor or up against the wall? The hammering comes during the day and during the night. Sometimes the night knocking is louder than the daytime knocking.

Or is a kidnapped person trying to break free from the locked room and therefore he/she keeps knocking at something.. to break it? to inform us of their presence? to send an SOS? Wouldn't it be easier to shout or scream for help at the window? no, no, no.

Maybe it is just the sound of jumping up and down. Nah, it sounds lighter than a whole person jumping up and down on cement.

Or .. or.. or.. is he tunneling through to freedom??

I am reminded of the song snippet - "knock three times on the ceiling if you want me, oo oo, twice on the lights, if the answer is no."

Thought of the minute

2005-11-17T15:44:00.000+08:00

Ever wonder why Korean series always have titles that depict seasons? Winter, Summer, Spring, Autumn. I bet you can think of a Korean series title with at least one season name in it. Talk about natural creativity.

The alarming incident with the car in the afternoon.

2005-11-17T15:40:00.000+08:00

It starts out as a normal morning, like any other. The birds chirp, the sun shines and the wind blows. I am at the verge of going cuckoo over the sheer boredom that plagues the soul, and with it the idle mind. A loud knock raps the door. Hm.. it doesn't sound like my door. Then a deep voice. "Assalamualaikum!" it says, followed by more rapping.

I move away from my laptop, towards the door. I lay one eye on the peephole to see a guy dressed in a security uniform knocking loudly and calling to the owners of the apartment opposite mine. A woman opens the door. I cannot see their faces because the steel rail blocks that part of my view. A conversation starts. The security guard raises his voice, inquiring if the woman owns a Waja by the number of ---. The woman acknowledges the vehicle as hers and is then informed of bank collection officers who are here to take away the car. "Empat bulan tidak ada bayar, sekarang mereka mahu datang ambil." Four months without payment, now they want to take the car away.

I feel a moment of suspense and fear, wondering if these are what the papers call ah longs or collection 'officers'. The conversation continues with the guard asking her to call her husband. He says that he has been searching for the Waja owner by knocking at every door in every apartment. He wants the issue settled by today. The woman reluctantly calls her husband and speaks to him in hushed tones. The guard asks for the phone and relates the whole incident again to the husband. Yes, they have come again. How can you not pay for four months? Do you know I have a responsibility to other occupants of the apartments? I cannot be helping you stopping people from taking away what is rightfully theirs without compromising my position as a security officer here. Yes, please deal with this right away.

He hangs up and returns the phone to the woman. Subsequent conversations became more friendly between the guard and the woman. He asks that she settles this with the bank immediately. She retreats to her home and comes out a few minutes later, dressed formally. She then leaves with the car as I look from behind the shelter of my window curtain.

Later, I find out that the couple had just been blessed with a child and only the husband is working. They are not locals of the city I know as KL and since the birth of their first child, they regularly drive back to their hometown in their Waja. Deciding to own materials is so much easier than maintaining payments. I am just glad that credit cards are not a form of payment when it comes to cars and houses. Who knows how many young adults will go bankrupt should something like that occurs.

Shopping Haven

2005-11-17T13:55:00.000+08:00

No matter what one says about KL, one thing is for sure: KL is a shopping paradise. MidValley, 1Utama, KLCC, Sungai Wang, Starhill, Chinatown night market.. you name your budget and KL will provide. Even during the weekdays, there will be literally thousands of people in all these shopping malls, give or take a hundred or two. The carparks will be full and if you're taking the mass transit, hold your breath and wear comfortable shoes ( for long periods of standing and walking ).

Which brings to mind the question of.. don't these people work? Apart from the apparent foreign tourists, the kids who are out of school ( currently it is the school holidays ), the elderly, the retired, the unemployed and those who are working around the area coming out to shop instead of eat during their lunch breaks, who the heck are the rest of the people who are at the malls during working hours?!

I asked fellow KL friends about this and they say that most of them are sales people or those who are of the marketing department. Under the category of sales people, you have insurance agents, direct sales agents, multi-level marketing representatives, client seekers and financial planners ( dopple-gangers of insurance agents ); all of which usually spend their hours outside of the office. So sometimes they really meet up with clients, other times they are just wasting their time away in a fake pursuit of a sales agreement. Their bosses know of it but that's the nature of their job and as long as these salespeople meet the target, hurrah.

Then there is the Ladies' Club members. These are the type of ladies who go window shopping dressed like they are movie stars addicted to the harajuku syndrome. I think that these hopefuls are hoping that they will get spotted by modeling agencies which will then hand them a card and ask them to meet up to sign contracts for recording deals or filming ads. Well, they can keep hoping.

Lastly it's the mistress club. Enough said.

It is good that there are people like these to help with the spending community. Keeps the prices going up, inflation through the roof and wastes the government's breath and advice in asking them to save. That's what's happening everywhere anyways.

City status. Beautiful people. Keeps the tourists coming.

Read this posting with a sense of humor. If you don't have one, I suggest not reading it.

Get married or be married - its the same.

2005-11-15T15:43:00.000+08:00

No, I am not getting married. My cousin is. On my mother's side, she would be the eldest grandchild of my mother's mother. She had been engaged for less than a year when suddenly her fiance's grandmother passed away of old age. It is a Hokkien tradition that if a family member were to pass away, all good occasions like weddings are to be carried out within 100 days of the death, or be postponed to three years later.

My mother who is extremely overwhelmed by all this had been trying to cover her excitement through her continuous calls to ask me to help her book air tickets. During the passing of the conversation I brought up a detail on which marriages were linked with registration and I found out a few commonplace thinking that locals have when it comes to hurried marriages.

One, most hurried marriages are due to a third party, that is a baby that has been conceived. The bride is pregnant before the wedding plans were made and in order to cover the bulging stomach, the marriage is arranged post-haste. Such was the idea that came to distant family members who were invited to the wedding. A month early in terms of wedding RSVPs usually poses a hurried wedding syndrome. They will not suppress the question of whether the bride is pregnant or not, which in this case the the caller will reply with a chuckle and a stern "NO".

Next, nowadays babies have to be born with a birth certificate that is signed by a registered couple, which means that the baby is born to a family with both a father and a mother who are married to each other. In this, a couple which is not married but is expecting a baby has to register their marriage in order for their baby to have a certificate. On the other hand, if the guy does not wish to get married then this will pressurize the girl into thinking whether or not to keep the baby. I just hope that most marriages occur prior to the baby being conceived.

On account of this topic, I would also like to touch upon the strange wedding that has been a big hoohah here in the local newspapers. Apart from the million dollar arrangements, the 6th proposal that finally got the couple together and the likelihood of a fairy-tale wedding finally occuring outside of England, the bride is also a subject of controversy. She used to be a he.

I for one have nothing against two people in search of happiness. The local government has a harder time accepting that though. Like a social security number, we also have identification cards here which acts as our personal security code to do all administrative processes. Everyone is issued one with the religion and sex. In the bride's case, her sex is a Male instead of a female. Now, the local government does not allow same-sex marriages, so even after three major surgeries to turn her from a guy to a woman, Ms bride still is registered as a man. So what do you do when you cannot be officially man and wife by the state's law? You elope. =) Ok, migrate is a better word. I wish them both the best of luck in their search of happiness.

Why Crime will always be Rampant.

2005-11-13T22:42:00.000+08:00

I am a Maple player, there I've confessed it. The cute costumes, the cute facial expressions, the less than scary cartoony monsters.. I like it all. What I don't like, however, are the social impacts that stem off the difficulty one faces when leveling up.

I was hitting wild boars near the dungeon area off the mountains in Perion when I've come to realize that the society built within the compounds of this Maple world is representative of our real society. The chase to raise our levels is similar to the chase of status. Those who have reached the levels of 80+ are highly respected since it is a difficult task to reach that level ( sometimes I think it takes a lifetime ). In our real society that would be similar to reaching a level of authority similar to a president or a Prime Minister. The higher your level, the more powers you have. This is analogous with respect, fame and fortune that many famous social icons like ministers, movie stars, singers and performers alike share.

Whereas there is crime in the streets of reality, there is also crime in Maple. Now, I shall define crime as something done by an individual that causes discomfort, harm or death to another individual since that is what crime does to you. Put aside the different degrees of crime like between robbing and killing. It harms another in one way or another, although not entirely too similar in both methods. In Maple Story, yes the same theory applies in the 'crimes' committed there. Two of the most famous crimes are hacking/scamming and Kill Steal also known as KS. Hacking and scamming will result in the loss of your account, your player and your inventory. This is alive and well in our modern society. Kill Steal on the other hand faces a higher level of popularity. To kill steal another player or KS is to steal away the players chances of leveling up.

Now, non-Maplers need a little background here. In order for you to level up you need to hit monsters and upon killing them ( they will just disappear, there won't be any blood ) you will be awared experience points. These experience points will be accumulated until a 100% in which you are officially up one level. It can take awhile to level up since the points could reach well over 100k just to pass a single level. So, there you are hitting your monster when suddenly someone else pops in and uses a powerful stance and whoosh there goes your point. The monster that dies under that sword awards points to that sword. There goes all your hard work and you feel angry that you have just been KS-ed.

KS here is rather similar to a crime committed. Now if it is a crime, then why are so many ppl doing it? It is immoral, you don't want to be the victim of KS but why do you do it to another then? It's simple. People are pushed over the edge. They KS because it is so hard to level up. In reality, people steal, rob, kill, kidnap, lie, cheat and scam because they want to get out of poverty, because they want to get a hold of that elusive thing called money.

Worst case scenario, most of maple players are kids. That means that this comes natural. They were pushed over the edge by the pressure of leveling up and they resort to committing crimes for their own benefit and over the loss of another individual. It is life there in maple. And if you still don't see it, perhaps you should experience being KS-ed in maple. Believe me, it doesn't feel good.

Signing out.

Where do you go to get answers?

2005-11-13T18:02:00.000+08:00

Hello Boys And Girls, in today's class we're going to learn about where to go when you need answers. So, where exactly can you find answers to any questions regarding every aspect of your life? Why, the answerbank of course! Ask about chemistry lessons, play with riddles, gather confirmation from fellow dog owners about your dog's various midnight perks or just get together for a chat with people from around the world.

Ya, it's that cool. That's where I had been spending most of my time as of late. The people there are courteous, some are funny, others are naughty but everyone is having fun and learning new things as we speak. So, if you got nothing better to do than read my blog, perhaps you should give answerbank.co.uk a visit. See you there!

The best Xmas ever!

2005-11-12T20:33:00.000+08:00

Ooh, I've got to save up for many cinematic experiences this December. There's Harry Potter The Goblet of Fire where I think will be the best chapter amongst all seven, King Kong where Adrien Brody and a Nicole Kidman look-alike will be facing dinosaurs ( wat the tut? ) and the massive King-of-the-Jungle Kong and also Narnia which has a strange title but a real cool trailer - The lion, the witch and the wardrobe... err.. right.

It's about time that cinemas get a face-lift from the mundane shows that are showing as of late. Going to the cinemas seemed more a chore than a weekend break and I am never stingy when it comes to good movies. It's finding good movies that is the more difficult task. Last movie I saw was FlightPlan. Best movie I saw lately was National Treasure. Looking forward to Memoirs of a Geisha, The Da Vinci Code and Zathura. Ooh, it's going to be good.

Chicken or the Egg?

2005-11-12T00:29:00.000+08:00

I had been watching Disney movies, cartoons and animated features since my first encounter with what we know as television sets. After watching Chicken Little, the latest feature to be released by Disney Pictures and the first to come out without the help of Pixar Studios, I'm beginning to worry if Disney will be able to return that magical spark into the lives of our younger generation as it did many years ago in my life. Aladdin and The Lion King can beat Chicken Little hands down.

The plot is simple and actually meaningless. It was more of a father-son relationship story rather than what mischief Chicken Little and his friends get themselves into. My sister liked it; I think Disney Studios didn't try enough. I mean, come on, we have great animated features from them like Sleeping Beauty, Lilo & Stitch and Pirates of the Carribbean. What happen to the creative greatness that was known as the first to introduce animated feature to the world of cinematic experience?

There are some parts that were worth watching such as the dodgeball sequence and the two adorable and memory locked-in characters: Fish and the Kirby the baby alien. They got me cracking up with delight and actually saved the movie for me. Sigh, perhaps I am keeping my hopes too high. Perhaps I have to let go of the hope that Disney will forever top itself year by year. Perhaps I should grow up.

A sign from... eggs?

2005-11-10T10:28:00.000+08:00

When I was younger, my mom would make hard-boiled eggs for me and I would take my time biting each little piece off before I leave the yolk for my sisters to devour. Lately, whenever I boil eggs, the egg shells seem to break even before I could get them out of the pot. The first few times, I thought maybe I was the one who wasn't handling the eggs well, but after awhile I think it's the eggs who are breaking up on me. I've taken one type that is nutritious - omega something, heck I forgot.. *Shame on me for being a food technology student and forgetting what I've studied* and those egg shells are the thinnest. It's like apart from human touch, the eggs will break with any contact with any surface. Ok, perhaps crack is a better word. Hairline crack, ya that's it. The thing is, if eggs are getting more nutritous but are losing the strength of their calcium carbonate casings, how safe are the eggs from bacterial infection like Salmonella?

I am is a man.

2005-11-09T10:34:00.000+08:00

The title is wrong for two reasons. One, 'is' is not necessary since "I am a man" is sufficient; and B - I am not a man. Cheekiness aside, this was the level of English here within the last 5 years. I said 5 years since I first heard about it from my cousin brother in Penang. He said that was one of the answers he heard from a classmate in school. Well, fast-forwarding to the present time... English standards are plummeting as we speak.

If any of you are Maplers then you would know what I am talking about. Maple is a massively multi-player online role playing game or MMORPG where players spend forever to level up but are instead blasted with the truth of reality on a daily basis. Of which the truth, in most cases are: there will be limited amount of sharing due to the difficulty of leveling up to a higher level of power, there will be ppl who beg to party with you ( in order to level up faster ) or they just beg for meso ( currency ) and there will ALWAYS be ppl who cannot string two english words together. Mind you, most of the players are from malaysia and singapore. *hint hint*

" Is it you playing a long time? "
" Does it really like that? "
" Hey, can spend me some pots?"

The first sentence asks if I have been playing for a long time. You'd be surprised of the number of frequency that question has popped up in the same exact way.
The second one is a bit trickier. The sentence makes sense, but it does not make sense of what it is really trying to deliver. The questioner is asking the questionee if the... [ insert situation ] is really as the questionee says it. "Is it really like that? "is the right way of delivering what he/she means, in this case.
And the last part would have been correct IF 1) pots are replaced with potions and B) the word 'spend' which is largely used locally as a monetary treat or when one is buying a meal for another is replaced with 'spare'. Hence, the correct way of delivering what the person means is "Hey, can you spare me some potions?"

Then again, since no one is correcting them, it's gonna go on forever and ever and ever... The explanations take too long to let the person understand anyways and I am too bummed out from killing boars to tell them they are asking it wrong. Who am I to judge, right? But if my future kids were to say that, I'd wash their mouth with soap and send them to their room without supper.. on a good mood.

I smell doom lurking.

My ten minutes' worth

2005-11-08T23:02:00.000+08:00

Alright, here's the situation. I got ten minutes before I have to disconnect myself from the Internet. That on its own is never something I can do easily but.. rules are rules. Today, the newspaper's Opinion column has regained its dignity in delivering opinions that matter and different from the stereotypical point of view. And as my string of luck would have it, there were two letters worth mentioning today. Both are not from me. I just like the content. Period.

One was written in possibly by an economics professor since he knows much about the nation's economy, is not narrow-minded and most importantly his name was preceeded with a Dr. He attributed the current joblessness of fresh grads to the real possibility that the economy was too 'flaccid' to provide for the many fresh and experience workers here in the country.

I've written in the same point to the same editor of the same paper two months ago. They didn't publish the letter, maybe because I was speaking on behalf of fresh grads AND I do give a rat's ass about their well-being, unlike certain people out there who just complain about us and leave it at that.

What do they complain about? Er, that we want office jobs, that we ridiculously want high pay for jobs that we have no experience in, that we are picky, that we are of no use since we do not have the proper training and etcetera etcetera etcetera. That may be true for certain people, but how can they make it an all-or-nothing criteria of fresh grads? The only thing that has resulted from this is a painted disgusted view of university graduates, especially those who are from local universities.

Now, what would possess these ppl to concoct these lies, or to brush aside their common sense and make statements like that in form of mass media? Beats me, I don't get them either. But I am glad that there are still people out there like this economics doctor who UNDERSTANDS how all this work and not only depend on a few empty vessels that make nothing but loud noises.

The other letter was on the bad attitude that runs amok in most locals here. I do not want to say much since she said it all and it is fully credited to her. She is brave, I'd give her that but maybe she hasn't figured out that locals being the way they are, won't give a rat's ass about what she wrote. Yet, I like her guts. Damn chun dame we have there.

With people like them, there is still hope for the nation.

Bullying on the Web

2005-11-07T12:25:00.000+08:00

Do you remember how it was when there was a bully at school who is so intend in kicking your butt that you fear going to school every single morning? Well, I don't because there were no bullies at my school.. but that's not the point. The point is there are bullies here on the world wide web. Maybe it was because there were no rules and regulation, no authorities to police the websites and no activists to protest again the content of the webpages. This is a place where hooligans and those who are educated run loose and bump into one another every once in a while. It is a harsh environment especially when you're a lone wolf, but you get used to it after awhile.

Opnions are harshly rapped in forums and without the fear of you recognizing them. Most surfers just kick you hard on the shin and then disappear behind their computer monitors, like cowards on the run after stealing donation money from the church basket. I've learned to not take it too seriously. The first few times were wake-up calls. No, wait a minute. It was more like a culture shock experience. To think that people who are so in tuned with technology and so Internet-Savvy could be such barbarians when it comes to practising manners... But hey, we are who we are, right? And what fun is it if everyone is the same as everyone else?

Still..

HA! I laugh at the face of progress. Humans will go nowhere without a growing moral sense behind rapid technological advancements. They just can't handle it and in the end, it will lead to their own destruction.

There! it's out of my system. And I bid you good day.

How to cry/laugh at the same time. Lesson 2.

2005-11-06T16:57:00.000+08:00

So there I was with my mama on the phone and as we were catching up on news from both sides of the South China Sea, when she suddenly told me about a conversation she had with some yamcha friends of hers. Yamcha literally means drink tea, but in our local culture, it means a leisurely chat spreaded over tea-time. Those who do yamcha are reaching the last few payments on their houses and cars, so they usually do that to spend their free time. Anyways, my parent's yamcha buddies are are also parents who have outgrown their duties to their children. One pair are already grandparents and the other pair will be attending their first son's wedding soon.

So the soon-to-be father in law asks me mom when HER daughter ( yours truly ) is going to get married. Mind you, it is too soon for me and my mother isn't too anxious about being a grandmother before reaching her 50s either, so she said that it will be a few more years to come. The uncle pursued the matter further, asking if my current boyfriend is working and is he earning well. My mother says he is doing fine with a stable income but he has to send money home to his parents for their daily use. Upon which, this uncle who incidentally is a rather rich bloke asks if my boyfriend came from a poor family. My mother was startled with the blunt question but replied that they are of middle income, it's just that my boyfriend is delivering his responsilities as a filial son, trying to help ease the financial support of his parents.

The subsequent conversation was of a blur to me because my mother proceeded to give me her own conclusions of this discussion of hers with the new father-in-law and the other grandparents couple. It seems that to that uncle (who's son has received a car and a house by him as his wedding present), and to the grandparents (whose son and daughter in law are both pharmacists and paying for a 300k house and a Toyota Camry), the children nowadays need not send money home to their parents, since this is not what's happening in their own household.

Evidently I was speechless. For them to know of this but not practise it, I can understand. But for them to know of it and be shocked of such a culture, I was just.. speechless. To think that they had sacrificed so much in bringing up the kids, getting them through tertiery education and getting them a house and a home, who would have thunk that the kids never once sent money home to their parents??

Oh, and one more thing. I asked my mom if it was just her imagination that these uncles are unaware of the "send money home to my parents" culture. She said, it could be, except that the uncle ( the one who is a grandparent ) who was usually a chatty person and full of jokes and laughter was surprisingly quiet throughout the whole conversation. She speculated that perhaps he was wondering why would any parent need their children to send money home or... why his kids, despite the new house and the 200k car, never sent any home?

That itch you just can't scratch

2005-11-01T12:49:00.000+08:00

Once in awhile someone leaves you a comment, with a link which leads to their own website. As much as I think they are overestimating the popularity of my blog, I think it is a bit annoying. I do check the comments and I still do delete suspicious comments that do nothing but use me as a marketing strategy. But hey, when it comes to Cancer, I gotta say I'm all 100% supportive. Pls visit www.havecancer.com or use the link from the first comment in my "tolerate my foot" blog entry ( I was very angry at the time, hence the aptly named title ).

Please do your part in understanding the disease even if you are not a medical student or one of the patients. Many thanks for your co-operation.

Thanks Roger.

Tolerate my foot

2005-11-01T01:43:00.000+08:00

It's 1.35am.

There was a loud bang.

I opened one eye, picked up my handphone, checked the time, found it 1st of Nov, remembered it is Deepavali, cursed the misuse of a festival to lit up firecrackers, contemplated calling the police, decided it was of no use, put down my phone, closed the eye, pray that there won't be another fireworks blast, and slept.

And so I wished.

There must be some law against suddenly waking up somebody who's already in deep sleep using loud noises. Apart from the fact that it is annoying, rude, foolish and a downright-gonna-get-yourself-beaten-up-one-day stupid action.. Again! People! It is against the law to light up firecrackers, especially damn noisy ones. It is also against the law to disturb the peace of the community after 12 am. For god's sakes, it is one and half hour PAST the limit. Even if the authorities can't catch you, even if you think you ave gotten free, at least you could .. find it in that bottomless pit of that beating thing you call a heart, to understand that.. people.. need.. sleep. You don't need sleep, fine. But if anyone catches someone who is disturbing the precious few hours of sleep that fine citizens need, I hope to hell, that they'll beat up the guy who holds the match.

Oh, my aching head. #%@#@*

God forbid I catch them

2005-10-31T22:12:00.000+08:00

Three, two, one, BOOM!!

My place is like the headquarters for illegal firecrackers, and they are the sort that really makes your ears ring. As much as I dislike the idea that kids are firing off these firecrackers, I hate more the idea that they are doing it bolder than ever, since no one is checking up on them. Sigh.. does it take another unnecessary death to make the authorities ( both the police and parents ) wake up and listen.. and more importantly, take action? It is annoying to the neighbourhood, the rest of the community who do not fire these crackers nor condone the acts of endangering the lives of kids with illegal fire power. Celebration or not, it is not smart to teach kids to go against the law, and endanger their lives while doing it. Come to think of it, that sounds exactly like a crime.

For the meantime, I cringe in fear, expecting the next sonic boom to come crashing into my private space. I hate the invasion, but I cannot do anything to stop it. This is just so not fair.

Keep the Basket

2005-10-29T20:56:00.000+08:00

I was watching a local programme just the other day which showcased two rather different families with one similarity: Hari Raya isn't a happy occasion for them. One was a family with 12 children, malnourished brought on by poverty. The father was working, the mother was suffering from a heart disease, and they hardly had enough to eat on a daily basis. Yet, the other case was more heart breaking. She was an old lady who had been abandoned by her children. They bought her her own place, and then left her there to fend for herself. She has to endure loneliness in her old age, abandonment by her own fresh and blood and.. and... for God's sake, she broke her 12 hour fast with a cup of hot beverage and a few pieces of biscuits because she could not cook for herself.

She was around 70+. I couldn't remember the age 'causeI was too busy contemplating what had happened to our community, that something this inhumane is still happening at our day and age.

There was a story that my father told me when I was younger. It was really smart of him, because after hearing it I swore that I would not left my folks uncared for.

There once was a family of three generations, staying together under one roof. Since the oldest family member was an 80 year old woman, her son and daughter-in-law figured it best to leave her out in the woods so they would have one less mouth to feed. One day, they decided to carry the old lady out in a rattan basket. The daugher-in-law in a last attempt to practise a little humanity, placed some food and fruits in the basket for the old lady's use. The food would last, at most, 3 days.

Right as they were leaving the house, the couple's 10 year old son caught them at the front door. He asked the father what they were doing. The father replied that Grandma is too old and too sickly to stay with them, so they are taking her out into the woods.. and he left it at that. The mother said that she had left some food in the basket for Grandma, so he shouldn't worry that she would go hungry.

The father lifted the basket. The old woman could barely lift a finger to protest. Suddenly the boy said, "papa, remember to bring the basket back ok?"
" What do you need the basket for, son?" asked the father.
" So I can use it to bring you and mama out into the woods when you are as old as Grandma one day," replied the kid.

I don't know how the story ends. My father never told me. Perhaps there was no ending. Or perhaps, he deliberately left it to my imagination. But, he didn't have to tell me about it. I wouldn't leave any family member of mine out in the cold. Or even in a house, all alone for the festivities.

It's not humane. I don't know how some people can do it. But they did. They still do.

How to cry/laugh at the same time. Lesson 1.

2005-10-27T23:44:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine told me about this incident at her university library.

A lady was helping her register the books for loan when two other librarians were talking about a middle east student nearby. One said to the other that the student is from Pakistan. The friend then asked him to ask the student about how her home is now, since the terrible earthquake.
Without looking up, the lady who was attending to my friend said "Pakistan where got earthquake one oh?"
Dumbfounded by this, my friend looked at the two guys standing behind the lady. One of the guy stared back whilst the other just shrugged.

When my friend related the story to me, it took me awhile to register that the lady wasn't aware of the massive earthquake that had struck Pakistan last 8th October. The death toll was at 55,000 as of today and the number is likely to rise if medical help does not arrive faster. A tragedy of such a massive scale could not have been missed out by the radio, the newspapers or the television news. Yet, this lady is not aware of it. How did that happen?

The verdict: I'm still leaning towards crying as opposed to laughing.

That looks familiar.. wait a minute!!

2005-10-26T22:37:00.000+08:00

I did a selfish search on my own name and found out that an article I sent in to a local newspaper was put up in another guy's blog. Hm, I thought the copyrights to that story had already been bought by the paper. Heck, I didn't even put it up in my own blog but.. honestly, that is the only electronic copy of my work left in the web, so.. if someone else is prepared to face legal suits for me while I get free publication... *I'd whistle here if I could whistle.*

I couldn't contact him cause there are no email addresses, I am not a member of that blog-ring and I couldn't be bothered to register for it either. But it feels good to have your work appreciated. Yeah, damn good.

I should have thought of it sooner.

This second part was added on the 27th of October 2005, 11pm.
I had asked the opinion of a friend who is a copywriter and published editor regarding the issue above. She told me that as long as the author's name and the source of the article is published alongside, then there is no infringement of any copyrights. However, if the article was taken and presented as it belonged to someone else apart from the author then copyright infringements had occurred. Interesting.. I didn't know that. Shame on me...

I am officially a reject.

2005-10-26T21:54:00.000+08:00

Woo hoo the waiting is over and I am partially glad, since I do not like waiting. The other half of me just wants to die since I got rejected for a job that I really really.. did I say really?.. really like. But hey, that's life. You have ups and downs, ins and outs. Sometimes you win them, other times you just cant get a single break. I'd like a chance to be able to prove myself though, and I just can't get that. It is harsh to be rejected but it is even harder to be 'rejected' by your own flesh and blood. Ya, a relative did the usual gossip-like-it-is-my-duty-to chat with me mom. Broke her heart to hear the sneers and the gleeful hidden hahas on how terrible it is that her beloved daughter is still out of work after so long. I don't mind the snickers and stares, I just prefered that they are directed to me instead of my mom. Sigh, some ladies just can't keep their clothesline on their side of fence. So, what do you do? why.. you cut the extended clothesline of course!

But seriously, getting a job is not as easy as it looks. Those who jeer you for not being able to get one either does not work, does not need to work or has not ever tried it. Otherwise, they would have been more sympathetic. But that's life. That's human politics. And that is here to stay. But... one more peep out of that old hag and..*polishes baseball bat* .. I would forget what manners my parents had ever taught me and give her a piece of my mind.

To my parents for all their love and support through the darndest of times, thanks a million, I won't let you down.

PM's wife passed away

2005-10-20T10:05:00.000+08:00

Rarely do I get messages early in the morning unless it is something urgent, or it is breaking news. This morning I received one at 9.30am ( not exactly early ) that the Prime Minister's wife had passed away at 7.55am at the Putrajaya hospital here in KL. She was 64 and died as a breast cancer patient. Her twin sister was reportedly also a victim of the disease and had passed away in January 2004.

Tis' a sad day. My prayers are with cancer patients and the family that supports them.

I don't get it

2005-10-19T16:11:00.000+08:00

Amongst the many things in this world, the only one that does not discriminate is disease. It works in many mysterious ways, its purpose unknown, its methods unseen, its outcome inevitable. Many perished under its influence yet most did not wish to study it for the purpose of defeating it. I'm not tring to beat around the bush here, but just how many of us understands the workings of diseases such as diabetes, high blood pressure or even breast cancer?

A friend of mine sent me a text message today. She had just been through an operation to remove bumps found on the side of her breast. She's only 23, yet this is already the second time she has gone through an operation like this. I called her up upon receiving the message and we talked about her condition, her worries and hospital procedures, then we went on about how both our lives are resuming. We hung up with promises to keep in touch.

I sat there quiet as a mouse, not knowing what to expect from the world anymore. I thought of my aunt who had succumbed to the same disease, at the age of 43. Her operation was done too late to save her life. I just hope that my friend won't suffer the same fate.

She's a Christian so I told her to pray more. I told her her prayers will calm her soul and in that, her body's defence system will respond better and more aggressively against the disease. She has a supportive family, and ( at least in me ) supportive friends. She wanted to kept it hush hush so as to not be riddled with questions by inquisitive acquaintances. But with me, she let it all out. I don't know why. Perhaps when we are worried about our condition, we try to find a scratching post which will allow us to scratch unconditionally upon it. I was her scratching post, for a moment. I couldn't do more than that, even if I wished to.

Perhaps it is too early to have negative thoughts on this. She has detected the lumps fairly early and is anxiously awaiting the report on the lumps whether they are malignant or benign. She is positive too, taking the news more calmly than I had expected. The worst of her worries now is if there will be scars. You gotta love her positive thinking. Oh, and she is a rather lovable person. If karma has a role in this, then she must have done something bad last life, cos in this life she has so far been an angel.

For a moment I wished that there had been discrimination. That the bad will get all the diseases, and the good will stay healthy until old age takes a toll. But that wouldn't be natural, that wouldn't be in accordance to life's rule now, won't it?

Agenda vs Search for Truth

2005-10-12T12:28:00.000+08:00

Why is it that there is abundance of people who take things at face value? Are impressions really that important? That ever-lasting? Can it be overturned with experience and time? If a 3 second impression can be overturned, can a 30 year impression be overturned as well?

For instance, if someone told you that sunscreen is the thing that will prevent skin cancer and thirty years from now, they tell you that it is the main thing that is causing the disease to spread.. how would you feel? Do you blame the scientists who claim that sunscreen is the savior when it is actually the cause? Or do you blame the parties who commercialised the idea: the sunscreen manufacturers, the lifestyle magazines, the health write-ups and media influence? Or do you blame yourself for taking everything you see, hear, feel and touch at 'face' value?

I was on a phone conversation the other day when my father brought up the discovery that Vitamin E does not aid much in improving our health or in helping people with cardiovascular diseasea, of which my father is one. I grew up with the teachings of our education system believing that Vitamin E is essential towards growing up, aiding in a child's development if taken daily, ensuring a smooth transaction into adulthood and helping to prevent CVD. Now, all that has been overturned. Now, there are other researches that say none of that is actually happening. Someone made a mistake, and they are stepping out to correct it. Vit E is no good.

Sigh, who am I suppose to listen to? What if after this revelation of Vit E's inept ability to be of a preventive cause, 30 years from now Vit E, through long term exposure turns out to be the cure for skin cancer instead of sunscreen?

Science is redundant in the process of discovery. A lecturer once told me arguments keep science alive. I say A, and if everyone else accepts A for what I say it is, without finding out for sure for themselves, I would have single-handedly destroyed Science. Lucky for us, most scientists are hard-headed, egoistic and loves publicity. These supposedly societal sins are fundamental towards the continuation of Science. To argue the facts is to keep the facts' value of importance intact. To accept it at face value is to kill it.

Yet how are we suppose to know who is right and who is wrong? Perhaps it is up to us to be the judge of all this. There will always be an agenda behind every announced discovery: be it for grants, for publicity, for credit or just to be able to say " I told you so ". But as long as we have our own agenda, the agenda of searching and seeking out the truth, we may still have a fighting chance. To continue science for what it is, the search for the truth.

Got shot in the mouth.

2005-10-11T11:37:00.000+08:00

A few posts ago, I was linking hurricanes to global warming, without any scientific backup and based purely on what I learned from hearsay. There was a news write-up on scientific researches not finding any link between global warming and hurricanes. I read that with skepticism. Who can blame me? Say something often enough, and you will believe it yourself... Until I read Michael Crichton's latest "State of Fear". Boy, you want your intelligence and beliefs challenged, you read this.

I'm keeping it simple: how much of what you know is actually true? Is the threat of global warming true? Is taking care of our natural resources a responsibility exclusively reserved for human beings? And more importantly, are we doing a good job at that? Are we doing the right thing by interfering, or not interfering? The book challenges much of what we know with a lot of scientific backup. Skeptics would call the findings made up or massaged to fit into the reality. For them global warming or the direct effects of it are real threats, and even though it may not be proven so, we still have a responsibility to keep the environment as healthy as possible. How? By leaving the pythons fighting with crocodiles? By letting nature takes its course and watch chimpanzees cannibalize their young? Truth is, the environment is not as weak as environmentalists pictured it to be. Mother nature has her own arsenal and she will not lose out to the effects of industrialization, with or without man's help. At least, that's what I hope.

Of course, the lesson that I have learned from reading Crichton is to not to take anything at face value. That includes what I read in the book. Just how much of this is true? Scientific facts are only alphabets and numbers, it is up to man to make sense of it all. I wonder if Mr. Crichton has something to say about this at the back of his book. Currently at Resolution Chapter. Signing off.

The dilemma of ChO.osing

2005-10-11T10:19:00.000+08:00

I went for my interview yesterday. It was a very interesting interview. Lasted an hour, which was a good sign, according to some friends. The interviewer saw me to the door, again another good sign. Or it could just be a display of courtesy that locals rarely see nowadays. For the interview to last an hour, most of the time with just one interviewer, I think the Q&A session had to be interesting in essence. Perhaps it was the chemistry encouraged by good conversations. Or perhaps she was just in a good mood. To be exact, there were two of them. One is from the human resource department, a rather welcoming representative of the company and the other my future superior, busy even amidst an interview. From the interview, I found them both to be dedicated workers. Either the company treats them really well or they really like their jobs. I had to pull myself out of the interview so as to not eat into their lunch time, so to speak. There was one interviewee before me, and two more after me. Looks like it was going to be a whole day of meeting new people. Which will be what I am going to be involved in if I get this job. Finally I get to write and start building up social connections in my life. The pay was relatively low but taking the benefits into account, I can live on it comfortably. Perhaps, I can even save a little after getting practise from living through almost 6 months of unemployment and limited funding. Anyways, it was a good interview. I hope I've convinced them enough for them to call me up for the second one. *crosses fingers*

Whilst I am in the excitement of getting a job that I really like and will enjoy, I am bombarded daily with laments and sighs of friends regarding their jobs. There are a lucky few who are enjoying their jobs and once in awhile part with a grunt or two about it, just to make it sound real. I mean, it's their first job, public understanding demands that one shouldn't like their first job. Rubbish to that conservative thought and kudos to those who overlooked and thus overcame it.

Gone are the days that you cannot pick a job of your choice just because you are not academically adapted for it. Most of my friends were lucky enough to be able to graduate from university, so why is it that this problem of "being in a job they dont like" still existing amongst them. For those who are in a position to choose, it is up to you to decide whether you want to get a nice job that is suitable for you or a job that pays a lot yet is not the ideal way for you to spend your days/years.

Choosing not to choose is not the same as not doing any choosing at all. Once you have chosen not to choose, then you are in no position to complain about it. If you had chosen, you would have calmed yourself with the choice and would have nothing to complain about, right?

The PTPTN controversy

2005-10-07T15:35:00.000+08:00

The National Higher Education Fund Corporation or more affectionately known as PTPTN by tertiery education scholars is a fund that provides RM3000 or more pocket money/allowances for students for each of their schooling semesters. For a science student it will amount to RM7000 per head for a year, whilst it is around RM6500 for non-science students ( accounting, law, arts, etc). The money comes out from the local government.

Almost anyone who has gained entry into a public university, has a local bank account in alliance with the PTPTN loan, and who has half a brain to fill in a form correctly is entitled to get the funding. No questions asked. Most of my coursemates and university mates were on the PTPTN loan, which to me felt more like a scholarship since the requirements were pretty loose ( you just need to gain access to a public university ) and you get to pay back in instalments of around RM100 to RM300 per month when you graduate... or you need not pay at all (either through a first class degree conversion or the lack of a voluntary need to pay back a debt).

In university, I have heard plenty of stories and perhaps unluckily had been indirectly affected by the lateness of students getting the money from PTPTN. Despite the fact that this is much like easy money, most students encounter instances where their money were with-held due to bureaucracy and lengthy procedures of semester fee deductions. For close to one and a half months, they were to live on instant noodles, they borrowed money and they delayed rent payments in order to survive their daily lives before they can get the ( at most ) RM1500 allowance ( free of deductions ) for their schooling use.

Blessed with loving and giving parents, the most I have suffered from this is the lack of company for movies or nice food in the first two months of the semester. More often than not, I had to endure seeing my housemates living on instant noodles for three meals a day. It can be rather disheartening and you feel bad when you are eating rice with meat and proper vegetables right opposite them.

Once the money come however, I would be able to see funny antics on how certain students use their money. Sigh. Have you ever heard of people who would starve themselves for books and new handphones? The former at most was eccentricity at its best, a rather common thing to see amongst the top of the class or those who sleep with books. The latter, however much I frown upon if I were to encounter it, is more widespread than you would think possible. The amount of money uni and college students spend on their mobile phones would make you think the phone is a pet - which needs food, water, a place to sleep in, entertainment and love from their owner. At least, that's what the expenses for the handphones seem to cover. I need not elaborate more. You get the picture.

Thus, it is not surprising for me to see students NOT pay back PTPTN. For one thing, most of them do not deserve it. They are not poor, yet they got it. They are not studious, yet they got it. They are using it to buy cigarettes ( yes, there are smokers ), for entertainment, for handphone indulgences and to court girls instead of paying for their tuition and fees, yet still.. they got it.

The PTPTN loan should be regarded as financial aid. Not a way to circulate money within the young adult generation. Yet, possibly based on the 4% interest, it seemed that the more candidates they allow to borrow the money, the more the expected returns will come in future decades. Yes, decades. Each student will take one or two decades to repay the on-average RM21,000 per student loan that students had received from PTPTN for their 3 or 4 years of study. Those who did longer years obviously borrowed more.

Whilst it may not be too hard to pay RM 100++ a month for money that you have used up before your convocation, the lack of enforcement on the part of the education ministry has probably led much to the shortage of funding due to late repayments or no repayments at all from certain defaulters. Currently, there were 81 listed stubborn repayers who had borrowed money in 1999 but has yet to return any portion of the PTPTN money.

Curious about this incident, I looked up a few friends on the matter of the PTPTN repayment. They said that they had no way to go about it since they had not received a letter from the proper authorities telling them how to do the repayment. Since there is a lack of commitment on both sides to either retrieve or to repay the money, the problem exists and has remained so for many years. The redundancy on the retriever's side to provide important information regarding how to proceed with the PTPTN repayment and the obvious reason of graduates not wanting to continue eating instant noodle due to PTPTN (again) has led to the problem of a shortage of funding for future students ( obvious effect but will never be acknowledged ).

So how do we go about this? As responsible citizens, one who takes from the community should give back to the community. But, for their defence, who cares about the community, when you are the one living off processed wheat flour for three meals on a daily basis? Yet, in order for the younger generations to get this monetary advantage from the government, as their seniors had had in their own schooling years, it is up to the government to do anything necessary to solicit back the repayments of the money that was lent, not given, to these graduates.

I bid them good luck.

I may not fly for awhile. (2nd edit.)

2005-10-06T15:02:00.000+08:00

Flight plan. Nice psychological thriller plus great human behaviour study. Plays on the fear of a mother losing a daughter, flight attendants' fear of a crazy passenger, Captains dilemma on who to believe and passengers' fear of potential hijackers. A little control freak nature shown by mother. Nicely woven plot. Post 9-11 effects shown. Done in a way that it could happen to you, if you were a jet propulsion engineer like Mrs. Pratt.

Jodie Foster was in it. I like her. She has a lot of colour in her face. There is the yellow hair, the blue eyes and the red lips based on the backdrop of a fair and clear face. There is a slight tinge of age at the side of her lips. Wrinkles were forming, betraying the years of experience behind that small body of hers. Yet her mind was big, complicated and portrayable by the characters that she played.

She did the anxious mom at the edge of paranoia thing in Panic Room, which I don't think was a good enough movie for her. But I liked the concept. I like the Flightplan concept even more, plus it is a good thing they had a good writer and screenwriter for the movie. Almost every scene was necessary and contributed to the movie. Some things were implausible but most of the pieces fitted quite nicely. If you are reading this and you still have not watch the movie, please forgive me for spoiling it for you. ( If you intended to watch the movie, you would have watched it by now anyways.)

Earlier blog entry edited due to pressure from conscience.

I was not supportive of Wikipedia's blatant disregard for the storyline of a currently released movie to be displayed for all to see in their web encyclopedia, therefore for me to divulge the secrets of the movie in my blog is purely hypocritical. I have thus cleared my 1500 word simplified version of the movie plot and will stick to respectable reviews for all fan movies. Right.

It is not easy to tell a story. That's why not many writers deserve the well-coveted label as "story-teller". In Flightplan's case, the story was written based on a few convenient facts. Post 9-11, you need a sky marshall in the plane, Arab passengers may be harrassed based on loose convictions, planes have better designs and Captains lose more hair from the pressure of ensuring passenger safety. Nevertheless, all this comes to play in the movie. The cinematography was excellent, Oscar equivalent, although I have been wrong on many such occasions in the past years.

No cause come without effects. Flight attendants held a public boycott against the movie for the bad image portrayal of some rather unco-operative attendants on board Flightplan. Could you blame them? After watching the movie, I was at the edge of my seat, gritting my teeth thinking of how possible it was that these attendants could actually be flying international with that sort of attitude. Nevertheless, you have to give them the benefit of the doubt that the mother was losing her mind from the death of the husband.

The movie discusses many current societal issues. It acknowledges fear, it plays with it and it gives you every consequence that could happen if we act on or against those fears. I liked it. I hope you will too.

But, I may not fly for awhile.

Hidden natural agenda

2005-09-26T13:53:00.000+08:00

It was in the local newpaper last week. A reader wrote in and told people to stop associating God's fury with Bush's national policies and doings which had affected people outside of the United States as well as inside. My response to that is, there is nothing wrong in having that association. It does not show a third world thinking or diminish the level of maturity of a developing nation. It just comes naturally.

Since young we've been taught that if we were to do wrong, we will get what we deserve. Gods or goddesses will teach you a lesson if you are naughty - for decades it had been putting kids right, making them listen to their parents more. Even with adults, superstitions have been proven to be more effective than summonses, daily. E.g. Pick up an almanac, then tell a gambler that it is not a good day to buy a lottery number and he will put the money away immediately. Try doing that by making gambling illegal ( suppose, ok? suppose ) and it wont work half as effectively. That is the power of supposition and superstition.

So is it considered superstitious that I for one, think that what is happening in the US is indirectly caused by Bush's international policies and all the other things he had done in the past few years? Not that I'm saying God is releasing His wrath against Bush becuase he was the one that caused the deaths of so many innocents.. but he did refrained from signing the Kyoto Protocol probably for purpose of industrial profits ( is there a greater reason? ). Not participating in helping the reduction of the amount of carbon dioxide gases which led to an increase in the world temperature ultimately led to the formation of hurricanes in the surrounding oceans of the world. Hence, the development of Rita and Katrina. Then, it turns out that there isn't enough funding to aid in the rescue of the citizens and restoration of New Orleans.

As much as I believe in the strength of God, I also believe that whatever man does, man will get what he deserves. Whether directly or indirectly, Bush has to answer for the hurricanes, the bad evacuation management, the lack of manpower and funding needed for rescue efforts. Oh, and his apparent disregard for the obvious. One'd probably think he'd stop saying stupid things since his "Nu-cu-lear" incident but when he told ex-president of FEMA, Michael Brown he's doing a heck of a job despite nothing getting done properly or at all, I think people started believing in miracles.

Did the US administration foresee this and thus allowed each president only 2 terms to be the most powerful man in the world? Heaven knows.

Confounded Compound.

2005-09-22T14:41:00.000+08:00

Ya, I got a compound today. Followed the crowd, not the rules, and this is what they landed on me. An 8 inch long ticket to my road of being rm50 poorer. Sigh. I guess I deserved it for parking at the side of the road, so I won't fret much about it. Anyways, I went for an interview with a local publishing company, a big one. Don't wanna mention anything cause I don't wanna jinx it. I am superstitious and I also believe that nature has its way of maintaining balance. I received a compound today because I was there to apply for a job. I'd have more faith in the 'balance' if i did GET the job.

I finally got started on Tash Aw. In just one night, I've finished the first part. Going through the diary section. I like the way he tells his stories. So much can happen in a matter of pages. It's refreshing. They weren't miniscule things like... "walking down the path and turning left and right before arriving at the steps of a big house..." thing. They were more like... "trodding happily down the pebbled path, past the small creek I used to catched frogs from and as I near the house which all the other kids avoid because of the suspicious howling sounds in the middle of the night, I pulled my lastik band from my back pocket... for protection." ... thing. Those weren't his words but it followed the same pattern.

There is so much life being injected into the words. It's life-like. It could happen. It's real. And it makes you feel right at home. If you're Malaysian that is. I don't know the author's take on how much he likes Malaysia. I think he likes Malaysia as much as I do. Sometimes I don't but usually I do. Not many Malaysians like the way some things are done here, that's why they migrate and never come back. I won't say they are selfish. They have their reasons and they have the freedom to choose where they wanna spend the rest of their lives in. Me, I'd prefer home. Yet sometimes..

We've been free for 48 years, that's close to half a decade and what do we have to answer for it? Nasi lemak and roti canai angkasa. oh ya, and 8 inch long compounds. I agree on the computerized print outs but not on the amount of paper being wasted on a single ticket for a single offender. Better get started on counting my pennies from the piggy bank. Signing off.

Reader's Block

2005-09-20T13:38:00.000+08:00

A couple of posts ago I wrote that I was reading Lawrence Block, and that he's good. Let me rephrase that. He's good sometimes, repetitive most of the time, but always scary. He's breaking a lot of rules that I am taught not to do in a story. He is redundant, he drags, he explains himself a lot; but he is full of ideas. Scary ones.

Perhaps it's my fault. I shouldn't read so much from the same person at one shot. It's dangerous for a writer to be repetitive, and even more dangerous when a reader notices that. It makes a non-fan out of a fan. But what I really dislike about him is... probably not his fault.. the published reviews that's written about his stories.
".. he always respects his readers' desire to be entertained but never insults their intelligence.."
Sorry to say, the only time I ever felt insulted while reading a book, was when I was reading his. Ai..life has an ironic way of teaching you what ironic means. Block's ideas, they were crude. He twists things to turn out the right results which I do not think constitutes a good mystery writer. Even if he can do it, he didn't quite make it look smart enough for the mystery reader. Sometimes there is play with coincidence, a little bit on what-ifs but overall everything was more physical than mental. More, not always, just more.

The process is as important if not more important than the result. I admit, the outcome justify the reasons, but is it right if you rob the rich to give to the poor? I do not want to spoil it for future readers, but I can say that once you've read one Block story, you just about have read them all.

One last thing, how reliable is this newbie's review of an already well-established author's work? I may have started on writing, don't mean I'm not already an seasoned reader. If it wasn't because of my compulsive need to finish a book I've started, I'd be halfway through Tash Aw's The Harmony Silk Factory right about now. Looking forward to that, just have the last 23 pages of Block to finish.

Reader's block.. heh heh.

No news is good news

2005-09-20T13:03:00.000+08:00

"No news is good news." I never quite figured out what it meant. Does it imply that there is no such thing as good news or does it mean that the lack of any news whatsoever, is good news. Sometimes I wish it is the latter.

There was a killing that occurred near where I live, just recently. The victim died of multiple stab wounds. She was 28. She was a book keeper. A customer found her on the floor in her shop in a pool of blood and called the police. No one said how long she had been lying there.

I was unknowingly passing by the scene of the crime the night it happened. I noticed there were many people around, not unlike that of a gang fight atmosphere. When I saw a FORENSICS van, I knew then there was a murder. The news didn't say much about it the next day, except who the victim was and details of the murder. I thought it was a passionate killing. Turns out I was wrong. I have yet to read the news edit but a Chinese newspaper reported that she was killed by a drug addict, who wasn't so himself that night. He was mentally disturbed, telling his father as he got home that he got into a fight and that was what caused all the blood on his shirt.

Multiple stab wounds have telling signs. It means it was no accident, that the one who did the kiling either planned it, was desperate enough to do it or was doing it in self defence. Or in this case, was mentally deranged.

She was 28, so young and so hopeful. Going about her own business and then suddenly a customer comes in and stabs her. Putting it that way sounds crude, but that's what happened. How safe are we really, in this society of ours? We just celebrated our independence day a couple of weeks ago and now we are shivering in our shoes thinking about the number of potential killers out there ready enough to stab one into our ribs for a couple of bucks, or to appease a pleasure.

It's scary. It really is.

I write, therefore I am.

2005-09-15T08:35:00.000+08:00

My father was against the idea of me having my own website where I would talk about my biodata and ramble on about my thoughts and dreams. His argument was based on the simple idea that no one gives a *tut* who or what you are. I grew up believing that. I believed that no one should be made to read what I write, eventhough it is of substance, it is properly written and it is fun to read. My writing became redundant afterwards, my stories started becoming mundane and predictable because I thought that was what people wanted to read about. No more fiction for me. Hell, If it wasn't for my university years, I would have lost the only artistic side of me, and the world would have mourned the loss with me.

In my final semester, amidst the fear of flunking any papers and being retained an additional year, I did the unthinkable... I got into a Creative Writing class. It was tough. I am not a quitter, but I had thought of quitting during the first few weeks. The teacher was very demanding, and he does not care much for loafers. One student actually had the courage to say that he joined the class to get an easy A. The teacher gave him a piece of his mind, and I'm quite sure showed him the other pieces throughout the whole semester.

" If you do not care about your work, why should other people care about it? " he said during an afternoon class, one day. He didn't know it but what he said hit a nerve and for a moment there I blamed my father for almost making me give up my passion for writing. I know how to carry a story well, and I love to tell stories.. just as much as my father loves to tell his own stories to those who cared to listen.

And so, the writing began.

I churned out stories about suicides, about a parrallel universe inhabited by aliens which have characteristics resembling my 9 housemates, about a lesbian and a gay man who cross-dressed and found out the truth about both their genders right before the wedding march down the aisle, and I wrote about myself. The last one was to be graded upon. It was the toughest. I had to write about me and more importantly I had to care about the article. I had to do all that with the resounding resonance of my father telling me no one will care for it, continually playing at the back of my mind as it had for the past 10 years.

"What makes you you?, " Mr. Raymer asked. Put in onto paper, he elaborated. Don't tell me but show me, he challenged. I answered, I listened and I heeded the challenge. I wrote and re-wrote. I asked around. I did research ( on me, haha, research on me, what a thought ) and sure enough I found the answer in the love of my life.

"You are stubborn. You tell people what you want to do and you do it no matter what they say or think, that's why I love you," says he. I changed 'stubborn' to the more elegant-sounding persistent and I got my first A plus. That A had brought me to where I am today. Struggling but still learning; financially strained but spiritually fulfilled.

I decided to write and I did.

I created my own blog way after my two younger sisters are well into their second year on their blogs. On my 23rd birthday, I started this blog as an effort to continue writing journals, to improve my writing, another advice given by my writing teacher. There are no comments around for I did not tell anyone I have a blog. I don't need an audience to write for, but it would be nice for someone to share my thoughts with sometimes.

To maintain self-esteem, I told myself: I am writing a book. It is placed in a library where passers-by can stop, go through the titles and then take my book down from the shelf to read." Not now, but one day. Maybe, one day.

Why do people keep a blog? I do it because I can. Writing is so therapeutic, yet it is exclusive. Not everyone can write. Not everyone enjoys it. I can, and I do enjoy it. Therefore, I write. Therefore, I am.

Have your intelligence insulted, read a book.

2005-09-10T06:11:00.000+08:00

Ironic title, ain't it? I have nothing against books. I love them. I have passion for them. Having cleared that, please read on.

I grew up with Sherlock Holmes stories. However, I did not go through the adventures of Holmes and Watson on chronological order and thus succumbed to getting the whole collection at one shot, a year ago. The book cost plenty and the words were in dire need of a magnifying glass, but I did not give much care to either. I was through the whole collection of Sherlock Holmes mysteries within a week. A pattern emerged in my mind whilst I reach halfway through the book. I began to see what I could not see had I read the stories one at a time.

The stories were written from the first-hand view of Dr. Watson, Holmes's loyal and usually easy to impress companion. But that was not the observation. At the beginning of the stories there will be a long introduction, which carries no purpose except to slowly.. slowly.. slowly bring the main point of the story to the surface. I usually skip those. I suspect that it was meant to show Sir AC Doyle's vocabulary and writing prowess which is quite astounding; I mean, which writer could resist showing off to an audience whenever he or she has the chance to? Second observation : there will usually be a mention of a ton of stories that Watson had the problem of choosing one memorable story from, to relate to the reader. I admit that the collections were plenty but they weren't THAT plenty. And last but not least, most of the stories were bizarre cases. Bizarre as in, you don't see it everyday, every week or even once in a year. None of them were the usual who dunit? or involved any butlers and so readers usually lack the opportunity to solve the mysteries alongside Holmes. However unfair that may sound, that was what probably made Holmes so enticing to fans of mystery fiction. That was probably the same lure Agathe Christie had although she does keep all the good clues to herself and reveal it for the world to see at the end of the story, like a bad scientist who steals the work of his subordinates and then declare them as his own. My latest acquisition is the the mystery collections of Lawrence Block who had a particular review stated as "never insulting the reader's intelligence". *He's good.. man, he's good.*

The current generation of readers may shun the works of the Holmes and Christie as they seem to have unknowingly insult the intelligence of the readers. Hm... I've heard that a lot but I did not feel the same way. I find it refreshing that it is possible for a writer to pull one over your head without being around you. Such is the beauty of books and and the hidden power of mystery writers. Books seemed inanimate but the words chosen by these exceptional story-tellers... the words, they are swords. In the case of mystery fiction, these Swords sharpen the minds of those who read more and more of it. Yet, in the end the selfish side of humans always emerge. When the mind has finally been sharpened to a point, these books are thrown aside and labeled as "less than perfect" or "insulting the intelligent mind". Ridiculous. Without these books, you wouldn't have intelligence for anyone to insult.

In conclusion, I wouldn't have been interested in mystery fiction had the clues been laid bare for me to see, and the real culprit's identity been hinted on the first three pages of the novel. I'd however prefer to be led along by a trail of red and blue herrings, shocked by the ever-expanding limits of what a human can or cannot do, and have my views on morale challenged once in a while so I can grow, mature and retire with a sense of achievement that I had read what goes on in the minds of great writers and understood them as well as learn to admire their work as great works of literature and studies of human behaviour.

Long Live Fictional Characters!

You can quote me on this..

2005-08-24T03:45:00.000+08:00

I read an article at the earthwatchers.org site entitled " Jesus is coming, why save the world? " last week, and sent in a comment to the author, Wilz, telling him that I like his damn chun title. The page is there at the "my link' section. Be a darling and check it out so I don't have to explain from top to bottom what the gist of the article is. Read with a clear mind and you will learn more within that article than you could from a year in school.

Going a little bit off the subject, but towards one that popped into my mind while I was reading the article, the idea behind it reminded me much about the stir-up that Mr. Dan Brown caused from his book, the Da Vinci Code. I admit that reading it the second time around, I did a lot of page-skipping and manual searching for the more 'interesting' parts, but the book does challenge a christian's belief in their book, that they hold so dearly to their hearts and minds, the Bible. Don't take my word for it. Google the Da Vinci Code. Btw, da vinci means 'from vinci'.. which doesn't really translate much relevance to Leonardo himself.

The suggested ideas in the book shook the world as much as the world shook when the first homosexual bishop was elected ( can i say that? ). But to say that it shattered the beliefs of those who follow the bible instead of their common sense.. that I cannot be sure. I dare not suggest that it should either. However, I do not like the idea of calling the bible a book that notes all 'agreed' historical facts from the birth of christianity till now. Nor do I like to believe that a book that so many in the world read from, day and night, is nothing more than a censored version of the truth.

It has to serve a higher purpose than that. It must.

I fill forms saying I'm a buddhist yet most of my best friends, those that I exchange ideas with, are devout Christians and I am quite fascinated with the teachings of the prophet Muhammad although I love certain foods too much to have to give them up if I chose to join the religion. Eventually, I've concluded that no matter who we are and in whatever status we may find ourselves in, it is a better choice for us to believe in a Surpreme being that is bigger than us, and one that we can look up to (figuratively and literally). For the best gifts that a religion could give a follower is hope, faith and the idea of believing that what they do, when they follow the teachings of their individual Gods, contributes to the well-being of humanity and the world.

I choose to be religious because it helps me let go of what I cannot control. I leave it to a supreme being to oversee and to decide upon, rather than to take up the task myself. I do not see myself as one with enormous strength, undying passion or a hardened heart, values that one has to have to be able to take the daily sufferings of man. I leave all that to God.

As with my moral standings, they are mine and mine alone to control. Therefore, regardless of what religion I belong to, as one who dares call oneself religious, I will not let myself do anything that will cause hurt to another man, woman or child, be there a Hell or not.

Oh yeah, I did buy all of Mr. Brown's books. Angels and Demons would be a terrific movie plot if carried out under excellent directors. I look forward to Mr. Brown's next plot. Call me a fan.

To squint or not to squint

2005-08-24T03:22:00.000+08:00

Got up this morning with a sore neck and a pimple. Less than half an hour later, stepped on my own glasses on the floor and broke them. The glasses were barely a year old when I broke them clean into two unequal halves. I can leave one side of it on one end of the table and the other side on the other end. Maybe I should leave it like this as a reminder to NOT leave fragile things lying around on places that your feet could reach.

Sigh, I should have stayed in bed.

On one hand, it's pathetic that I have to make new glasses every other year due to one accident or the other. On the other, I'm glad that losing my glasses on this miserable day will not cause too many problems apart from me having to squint to look at the computer monitor. And it's good that it broke at the pane rather than at the frames. Glass should be cheaper than metal frames (I hope). Talk about squinting at things on the bright side.

Spare the rod... spoil the child's future.

2005-08-17T17:34:00.000+08:00

Read in the news today that a cabbie was sentenced to a 20-year jail sentence for raping... (get this) .. his gf's daughter. The girl was only 13 when he raped her twice on two separate accounts. The court spared the rotan or caning sentence as he is already 50 years old and way past the age limit to be set under the cane.

Rubbish.

People care too much for age when it comes to crime and punishment. A juvenile can get away with murder as long as he is under 18 years old and an old man can get away with rape if he is past 50. This is ridiculous. Age is so subjective now. You can be 40 and still have the skin of a 20 year old, 65 and still be able to run marathons. But because of this loophole in the law books, kids are smuggling drugs through borders, stealing cars at night and distributing dope in the streets. No fear, you're under 18, you're clear.

At the age of 17 ( which is when we're taking our O-levels/SPM ), we're writing essays about the global economy, recession periods, society ills and haze problems. 17 year olds are getting their driving licenses, spinning down the road through twists and U-turns and yet the law is still addressing their mentality as a child instead of an adult.

Times have changed. The law should change too. Before it's too late.

Voicing out

2005-08-16T11:22:00.000+08:00

Regarding my right to voice out my opinions, I think the purpose outweighs the result.
If you see a child being abused you might (A) keep quiet about it or (B) voice out against it either to the abuser or to the authorities. While in both cases the end result may improve or disintegrate the child's life, at least you know you can sleep better if you chose (B). At least you know, you did something.

I voiced out against a company's ill-estimate of my worth as a potential worker, and against another in my worth as a satisfiable customer.

The first is easily fixed by walking away and looking for another job. I don't have to voice my opinion to them on that. They bear no ill-feelings, just ill-estimate.
The second is a little harder. He has something of mine, something I want back. Something of great importance if I want it to be so, and of none if I had the heart to walk away from what was a crowning achievement of my short life. You can say I'm proud. You can say I'm disgustingly arrogant. But you cannot say I did not voice out for my right to attain my graduation photo.
There is no physical abuse here, just mental abuse and the abuser knows not of how his victims suffer due to his incompetence. He runs away to his sanctuary, leaving behind organizers with bruised pride and customers with wounded expectations with an attitude which spelled " You need me more than I need you, so it is you who should come to me.."
Such impudence, such arrogance. And I can do nothing about it except ... write to the local newspaper :)
Ten years of experience? Bah.. he knows nothing about service. If he were in the States, he'd be sued down to this last penny by now.

Job Finding Blues

2005-08-16T10:27:00.000+08:00

Just got back from another job interview. It was a second interview. Lasted that long too.
Ok, maybe THREE seconds. I took a longer time waiting for the lrt train to arrive (sic).

You study so hard and in the end you still end up with a 1k job in the big city. In the wise words of manglish speakers: "Why lah this happening to me?" Ya, their grasp of grammar is quite bizarre but you tend to find a pattern in it if you speak it long enough. It may even outlast proper English. A prediction waiting to be challenged.

It's tiring, this job searching thing. No one likes doing it, yet everyone does it. Everyone has to do it. A necessary evil. Of all the animals in the kingdom, only man has to be a slave to what he hates to do: work, to survive.

Acquiring work is half the journey, getting a raise takes up 10%, surviving on the salary given: a huge 25% , fooling around 5%, checking out colleagues 5%, using up company resources 4% and actually doing work : 1%.
Statistics were collected from "wysiwyg" database. Individual results may vary.

Voting Mania

2005-08-15T07:14:00.000+08:00

Like in the States, we also have an idol show here, aptly named Malaysian Idol. We're currently at the level where we're choosing the Top 7; one will be eliminated from the group of 8 contestants within.. 6 hrs.

I joined the messageboards at their website. Community talk, they call it. Everyone's calling out love yous to their favorite idols. Some idol bashing were evident here and there. The moderators are trying their best but it's like a 2-censor-against-3000-new-posts-everyday kind of battle.
They're losing it, but still holding on.

The fans in there were pretty stressed out about the results that were out two weeks ago. Two of the best singers in the group ( the judges' words, not mine ) were voted out of the top 11, and now we're down to just a few who can squirm a note or two if pushed hard enough. The rest are not even sure why they're there. Their sense of insecurity is quite evident in performances and only God knows why the best two of the whole lot were voted out. It's a popularity show.

"Any decision made is only as important as the people make it."

The public is important. They just may not be right 100% of the time. Still, from the messageboards, you gotta love the support they're giving to the contestants. Some went as far as to attending the show every week; others starve themselves so they can vote for their idols, hoping to keep their favorites in the show for as long as possible.

I may have the common sense of knowing voting in any election is more important than voting for a reality show outcome but I still admire these 'smart voters' for making a stand on who they decide should attain the title of Malaysian Idol. They are the ones upholding the concept, Freedom of Choice.

A haze of irony

2005-08-15T06:00:00.000+08:00

Who would have thunk?
The haze was fearful enough when it's happening to you. But when the wind blows hard enough to get it clear away from your safety zone of a 1.5 km radius and sends the haze towards your sister in the island of Penang.. sigh, pure irony. pure irony.

It's a recurring problem, this haze. The worst thing about it is the people who are suffering from the consequences have nothing ( or almost nothing ) to do with the cause. Yet in a sense, it is wrong of us to be suffering in silence. We should be shouting our protests against open burning, against the clearing of nature's treasures through the wrath of fire and against the confiscation of our right to breathe fresh air.

We shouldn't suffer in silence because we have to.

We shouldn't suffer in silence because we choose to, either.

August -a new beginning-

2005-08-14T13:12:00.000+08:00

Graduated. Grew older. Sense of patriotism challenged. All in the month of August.

You gotta love it. I do.

Ya, the month of August is here. It's the month that I've graduated from university. The wait wasn't that long and I actually sympathized with the Tan Sri who had so big-heartedly volunteer to stand for two long hours to hand over our degrees. The flowers were plentiful. I felt pampered. Who wouldn't be on the day they graduate? You feel like your three years of work has finally paid off. Then wham! You're back to reality. Oops, there goes gravity.. *ahem.. sorry abt that* and you enter the big university of Society and Life Studies where rejections are plentiful and real friends go scarce. It's harder to get people to take you seriously. And when they actually do take you seriously, they make your life a living hell. Ah, I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong. It's just part and parcel of life. (No other cliche can top that one)

Grew older. 23. No comment.

Merdeka. It's a powerful word this 'merdeka'. It symbolizes freedom and yet forces us to be grateful to be living in a country which has no sense of city hygiene, no sense of courtesy and no sense of respect for what deserves respect anymore.

They still keep burning rubbish when the haze is already bad enough. The exhaust pipes from the buses are still emitting dark soot and smoke *cough cough* and what do you know, tattered flags strapped on the rooftops of BN centers in Penang. Go take a look if you don't believe me.

Ah, yes merdeka. It will never be properly celebrated within the next 35 years, no matter how hard the ministry tries. But anyways, we are a peaceful country. Ya, no sounds of guns or shooting. No cannons sounding in the night, and we do not fear for our lives whenever we step out into the opening.

In the wise words of Stitch.. " It's broken, but still good. Yup.. still good. "

When the only thing you have to worry about this coming august 31st is where to celebrate Merdeka, you know you're living in a peaceful country and if you're not thankful for anything else, at least be thankful that you get to sleep soundly at night.

Happy Independence Day, Malaysia.